For whatever reason of late I’ve been pondering “soul”. I find myself talking with those who come for counsel about their soul & heart. Yet, as I do I question what I actually know about them. A few years ago I purchased the book, The Spiritual Man by Watchman Nee. In it he defines nicely the difference between spirit and soul. Spirit, he defines is our conscience, intuition and communion. Soul includes our self-consciousness, intellect, ideals, love, emotions, discernment, choice, and more. All of this helps me see that The Holy Spirit we receive when Jesus is invited into our lives helps our soul to live more holy.

So now, take all of that and put flesh around it and give it your name. This is what God knit in our mother’s womb as stated in Psalms 139:13. As I am writing this I see more clearly my communion with God when I worship Him. If my conscience is clear and I’ve heeded to His Spirit’s voice (my intuition) I worship so easily and lovingly. However, if I am troubled with decisions or desires that are selfish I don’t have the same freedom of worship (communion).

I know when I went for my own counsel I’d sometimes be told that in helping me or others, the counselor got help for themselves. Now, all these years later I’m beginning to see just what they meant. When I fully retired a couple years ago from my 50 years in education I said I would be a much better teacher/administrator if I could take all I now know to my career’s beginning I would have been a much better educator. This truth doesn’t change no matter what career path we follow. God always desires to grow us. I do love being a learner and with the learning, develop into a better man God knit in my mother’s womb so many years ago.

Well, the meeting I’ve written about in the past few days took place yesterday morning and it was a glorious meeting–just as I should have expected. The things which had caused me to be anxious were only about me. When I had expressed these concerns I was given a response which made me realize that if the table was turned and I was hearing this from someone else, I’d be telling them just what I had been told. I don’t often make decisions from an emotional level only. But, in this case, I was letting my emotions get the best of me. Emotions are always a part of any decision, but I never want them to rule the decision ahead of practical wisdom. Godly wisdom is what I was given yesterday morning and that is what Jesus was wanting me to hear.

I’ve always had a habit of suppressing emotions so that I would never look like my dad who seemed to be driven by emotional decisions. I’ve learned a lot in my recent years about respecting emotions instead of fearing and suppressing them. Emotions and Godly wisdom can respectfully work together–be a team. I want to learn more and more about surrendering emotions of “fear and anxiety” so I can better hear God’s Wisdom from His Holy Spirit and appreciate it emotionally and use it wisely.

What a privilege it is to walk with our Abba Father Who loves each of us dearly!

“This is the day the Lord hath made, rejoice and be glad in it!” Psalms 118:24. How can I rejoice and be glad in a day if I am going into it anxious? I can’t. This morning I have the meeting I’ve written a couple times about. And, yes, I got up anxious about it and the outcome of it. Yet, when I started my journaling and asked what Jesus wanted me to know for today, I was reminded that He is with me (us) today. As I was reminded of this I wondered why I ever fall prey to anxiety when I KNOW this? I know it is my flesh, but, good grief, can I ever get beyond this flesh of mine?

In my Bible reading in II Kings 6:16 this morning, the prophet Elisha says “Don’t be afraid, the prophet answered, those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” Elisha goes on to say, “Oh Lord, open his eyes so he may see,…” It was very easy at that point to know and see that God already has the outcome of this meeting in His hands. Somehow I have known this, and now my heart is much more at peace.

I am always amazed and impressed with God’s ways. Trusting Him is always what I want to do, but just as in today, I need His reminder to do just that. So today, “…I walk into the unknown trusting….” God is always AMAZING!

Yesterday I wrote about some areas I didn’t know what to do with. I didn’t identify them for reasons I have. Tomorrow will be the day for meeting with the ones I want to talk with regarding the most important area. It was so nice to see how easily the meeting was put together. I know God is in the midst of this. I look forward to see how this comes together.

A dear friend (who happens to be my brother-in-law) posted a saying I happened to read this morning. It said something like, “when the years behind you are greater than those ahead of you, one reflects a good deal more”. As I read it I couldn’t help but think about yesterday’s counseling session with a father and his 17 year old son. A month ago I had met with them regarding some decisions the son was making. We made a 30 day plan to address the actions and agreed to meet again yesterday which ended the 30 days. I had met once with the son during the 30 days for a progress report. As yesterday took place it was easy to see the son was struggling not to go back to old ways. His father reflected on his own past with his son, but it was easy to see that the son thought that was more about dad than it was him.

James 5:16 tells us to confess to someone we trust–the prayers of a righteous man are powerful and effective. It would be so good if we would do this upfront. But, too many times, we have to learn by reflecting on our mistakes–sins–before we understand the significance of this verse. Confessing a temptation before needing to confess a sin would be a tremendously good step of learning. Somehow our ability to choose interferes with this wisdom. Oh how all of this makes me REFLECT.

This is one of those weeks where I would wish God would simply put on paper the manner in which I’m to do several things. There are some actions I need to take, but in taking them I’d like outcomes I want. Do these outcomes align with God’s intent? That’s what I don’t know, but if God were to put the list together for me, then I’d be more confident He wants each one to happen. I know I’m being obscure as I write this, but God knows each one as I’ve already prayed, but haven’t had clarity except to get started on some of them and see what develops.

What I do know is that in God’s timing all things work for His good if I will be patient and leave outcomes to Him. This I know and trust so as this day comes about I will do what I think is best and surrender from that point. Then, I’ll walk into each day for the rest of the week giving each day over to God and only do what He nudges.

Some days there is only Light for one step and this seems to be one of them. Trust is my command. God is Faithful and I want to be too.

Have I said lately how much I love springtime? In case I haven’t–I DO! Spring has a great mix of some winter episodes along with the start of summer mixed with beautiful days of just the right temperatures. With all of that life is showing itself in beautiful arrays with flowers opening their colorful displays of beauty. I don’t mean to get carried away here, but I do love spring!

It is so easy to look at our world of today and get somewhat discouraged with its worsening turmoil and godlessness. The influences of man in the flesh is showing itself abundantly. Yet, as I was reading I Kings this morning regarding Elijah and his time with King Ahab, God informed Elijah that He had preserved 5,000 followers for Himself. It made me smile as I read it just as it does now as I write this. God has always provided great followers for Himself. All over the world one can find these today just as in the times of Elijah. Keeping my eyes on these truths instead of on the current state of our nation/world restores hope and trust that God is never not in control. Today I rejoice in this TRUTH!

Half of yesterday turned out just as planned. I went to see my prayer warrior and it was just as God would want. She had so much to share and I also had much to share with her. The sharing I always longed to be able to do with my own mother seems to happen with Lois. She is such a gift from God for me. Everyone needs to have a “Lois” in their lives. She tells me her mind is fading but there is no evidence of that when God is using her.

While I was with Lois I received a text from my good friend who lost his wife a couple months ago wondering if we could meet for lunch. So, my nursery shopping plans changed a bit. The afternoon had a better purpose for it. Today, however, after this mornings two sessions, I think the nursery shopping can take place!

God is amazingly thorough as He works. I need so much for His continued Light and I greatly appreciate having a Light Carrier in the flesh who only gives Godly wisdom through His Word. I call her my 2nd mom. She is such a gift!

Today is one I’ve been waiting to arrive for a couple of reasons. I’m going to meet with my prayer warrior this morning and that is always a treat for me. I never leave her place without having been given a better perspective on life and God’s purposes in it. How I love this lady! The other reason is simply selfish. I only have one appointment and it is later in the afternoon which allows me to have the day mostly for myself. Ordinarily that would mean I’d be outside in the yard but it is raining heavily today. So, I can go to a couple of nurseries and browse for the plants which are waiting for me to plant and enjoy them!

Last night’s testimony for our Celebrate Recovery was from a man giving it for the first time. He was raised in a pastor’s home and had a “great upbringing”–his words. Still, choices were made by him which drug him away from a christian walk. I have always attributed my sinful ways to an abusive childhood, sinful ways like pornography. Yet, this man struggled with this and his childhood had no abuse in it–just his flesh showing up. It made me realize my flesh showed up in me making me human just like all mankind is. Even though my childhood had abuse in it, I was still of flesh and I’d be tempted regardless and I had choice just as this gentleman did. It gave me a better perspective just hearing this testimony. God is never done awakening each of us and that includes me. I love this God of ours!

There are times when I just feel inadequate for this ministry of counseling. I can prepare all I want and think I’ve done it, got it ready, and still the inadequacy lingers. Then, the session is engaged and ends and I realize once again that God had it all in His hands regardless of my “feelings”.

I have on top of my prayer list to “keep my eyes on Jesus” “listen to His Voice” and “obey His nudges”. I’m reminded to do this each and every morning. I am troubled that my feelings dominate my actions at moments and then I hear that small voice saying, “Don’t let the flesh overpower your soul. Living in the flesh is not a choice, but letting the flesh control you is a choice.”

This message came to me just this morning as I was journaling to Jesus about my inadequacies. It was a good reminder that I can relinquish this inadequacy to Christ who wants it anyway. My reliance is not on me, but on my surrendered self to the Power of my Savior and Lord–Jesus Christ!

There was a touching moment in yesterday’s events. A young teen has come for 4 sessions to address his anger. He lives with his grandparents due to both parents being unstable. He has taken every bit of counsel and put it to work in his life thus far. When he first came I asked if he’d accepted Christ as his Savior and he said he didn’t think so. I asked if he wanted to do that and he said maybe sometime. Yesterday, I had prepared a sheet outlining a few verses that spoke of accepting Jesus as Lord and Savior along with a prayer he could pray. When we went over it together I asked if he wanted to pray the prayer? He said he’d like to do that at home. When the session ended he asked if he could take a picture with his phone of the document I’d prepared? I told him it was for him to take. He smiled and took it. We agreed that next week we will talk more deeply about his walking with Christ and what that looks like for a young teen his age.

It’s joyous to experience a young, emerging teen who hasn’t had the background one would wish for him, but is seeking help to be what his “papa” and grandma model for him. GOD is so GOOD!