This morning at 9:00 am we lay our friend Penny to rest. At 11:00 am we will have her celebration of life at our church followed by a dinner. The last time I lost a friend of Penny’s significance to me was before I had the years of counseling and therapy. When he died (also of cancer) I fought being angry with God and with man. I just couldn’t figure out why God would take such a blessed man from this earth. He was important down here. 

Today as I process Penny’s celebration of life I see it very differently. I see for the first time for me the battle between God’s Spirit within me and the flesh I live in. My flesh is so selfish. I don’t want the beauty/joy of this earthly life to change. My spirit knows this change is coming and is coming for me someday. I rejoice for Penny’s eternal home and continuous presence of Jesus, I see my flesh hurting and I will acknowledge it and express it. I don’t need to be angry with God for I see Penny’s passing through much clearer spiritual eyes this time. 

I will miss Penny’s laugh and joyous spirit. I will miss the beauty she always created with her gorgeous floral arrangements. I will miss having her and Dave together and the fun they always created. However, I see a glimpse of a heavenly celebration Penny is experiencing at this very moment, one I will join in God’s timing, and I rejoice with tears of loss, but also with tears of joy generated by a trust/confidence in our Father God I didn’t have those 15 years ago. 

There’s a new song our quartet is learning which is one of the most worshipful songs we’ve ever sung. It’s title is Holy Are You Lord. The music touches my soul significantly and the lyrics equally so. Our leader in the quartet told me he wanted me to sing the one verse adlibbing as is done in the recording. He also said to do the obbligato with the last singing of the chorus. For one thing, I couldn’t get through the song without crying. Secondly, and much more important to me, I struggle with regular rhythm let alone trying to make up my own! With all the ridicule I had growing up, if I do something different from others and draw attention to myself, I instantly have that same stifling fear that practically paralyzes me. Yesterday morning I was determined I should not let my fears get the best of me so I went over these parts of the song endless times so they could just be comfortable. Towards the end of this practice time I was actually starting to “get it”. 

This morning’s devotional was titled–“Reflecting Jesus”. A quote from it says, “This process of transforming you into Christ’s likeness progresses as you present yourself as a holy sacrifice unto the Lord in increasing measure.” (Romans 12:1-2) As I read this I began to see the gentleman who sings this song in live performance. His expression of worship was not self-seeking. Instead, it brings me into the presence of God’s Holy Spirit–it reflects Jesus! I realized this is what God wants me to do and what Mike was asking of me. God doesn’t want me to continue living in the paralyzes of my past. He wants me living in the freedom of my present that God has granted me. 

My “increasing measure” to let God transform me has needed me to recognize this error of thinking I’ve always lived with. THe freedom of expression that reflects my love for my Heavenly Father just as Christ did when He modeled this here on earth, is a new reality. I want to do this with real love and freedom for the Father who sacrificed so greatly for me! 

This might seem trite, but I simply know I’m to write this for today. My dear friend who lost his wife recently had lunch with Kathy and me this past Monday. He was talking about the upcoming service this Friday and mentioned there would be a dinner following the viewing Thursday evening. He wanted us to know we were invited. Thursday evening is Celebrate Recovery night so I was torn regarding what to do. I have always been driven to complete obligations ahead of my emotional tugs, right or wrong. Last night I talked to Kathy about this and we decided it is best to go to CR. We have friends and family coming for the funeral staying with us adding to this “rational” thinking. 

This morning I have an email from my friend which I’m sure he sent to many, telling about the Thursday evening dinner at the grange hall where his wife Penny loved to go for different events. As I began my devotional reading the message was clearly stated that God wants His followers to be a reflection of Him by obeying His nudges. So often I’ve chalked up these nudges in past as emotional and I’ve never wanted to look like my dad who seemed to do most of what he did driven by emotions rather than logic. God, on the other hand, wants me to keep my eyes on His Son Jesus and look like Him. 

I want to support this dear friend and I will–we will. Obligations are important to keep, however, there are times when circumstances outweigh an obligation. I just know I want to follow Christ’s lead in my life and this is one of them. I needed this reminder that emotions are much more than a reflection of my dad. They are a gift from God that He wants us to use in helping us follow Him. Logic is important and sometimes it is logical to follow one’s emotions. 

I am utterly amazed as I am reading through the first books of the Old Testament this time. For some reason, and this is true for all of us at points in our lives, the scriptures are given meaning like they never had before. Leviticus is a great example of this. As I began this morning the preface of the book tells me that the book’s title is all about directions for the Levi’s as they were anointed to be the priests handling everything regarding worship and the care of the temple and its contents. More than this, as the chapters begin, they tell us why we are not to come to God and worship at points in the day, month, etc. We are unclean at these points. 

What amazed me was when all of this was compared to Adam and Eve prior to their fall (eating the forbidden fruit), there was no time when they were not to worship God and commune with Him. After their sin, not only were they abandoned from the purity of the Garden of Eden, but they could no longer worship God or come to Him anytime they desired. Our everyday life has the influence of sin in it and God wanted them purified before anyone came to Him. They had to offer sacrifices for the purpose of becoming “pure in the sight of God”. 

Well, look what Jesus did for us today! No matter how scarred we are from our sin/s, God wants us to come to Him for He sees us through the sacrifice of Jesus on the Cross. I know this isn’t new, but reading this in Leviticus this morning only made it all very bold in my mind. How fortunate we are to live in today where we have Jesus!

Last Friday I was interviewed (recorded) by a gentleman on our church board wanting to promote the ministries of our church. I wrote about this I believe. He also asked if there would be a few individuals/couples who would be willing to give a short testimony of how the ministry/s impacted them. I was hesitant to ask, but there were a few that God had put on my mind. Yesterday I asked a couple and an individual if they’d be willing? I was amazed to hear each of them say that they would be glad to do it!

Isn’t it amazing when God has done a work in someone’s life, they don’t want to keep it hidden. They want others to benefit from the same God they serve with the problems they encounter. I was reminded again that I had my eyes on man and his problems rather than man and how God has helped them overcome their problems. This is far more about God than it is about man. 

My focus for 2024 is to Keep my eyes of Jesus, Listen to His Voice and Obey His Command/s. It is nearing the end of the first month and this yesterday taught me that I haven’t made much progress. It is good that I have 11 more months!

As I am reading Exodus I read again the words that the children of Israel are a “stiff-necked people”. When I’ve read this in the past I’ve thought that they must be much worse than you and me. Today I’ve read this again. This time I’m brought to a new reality. Yes, it isn’t new that we all have stiff-necked characteristics depending on what the topic is. But, in the case of the children of Israel, God chose them out of all races to be the example of Himself with us. In spite of the stiff-necked characteristics we exhibit, He remains faithful. 

Stiff-necked doesn’t need to be negative. I don’t want to be wavering in my commitment of living for God. However, living for God should never look to others like a “must do” instead of a “get to”. If the Joy of the Lord is motivating “living for the Lord” then what others see is just that–JOY. If I am going to be stiff-necked, I sure hope it looks like a commitment to JOY, not a stubbornness to “have my way”. Living for Jesus, serving Jesus is such a joy. 

God brought the children of Israel from their slavery in Egypt to a Promise Land. He brought me from the shackles of my childhood to now using it help others find the freedom He has given me. This is nothing but pure JOY! I pray, if you have shackles as I did, you will let Jesus lead you to the Light of HIS FREEDOM.

Yesterday was an intense day in a couple of ways. A gentleman from our church board wanted to meet and interview me regarding the two ministries: Celebrate Recovery and Counseling. He is doing brief videos of the church’s ministries so folks can see these on the lobby screens acquainting folks with all the church offers. Forty years ago this gentleman had been a student of mine throughout his elementary years. This time opened into him revealing much about himself as I revealed much about myself. It is amazing how God takes anyone’s past and uses it as Light penetrating darkness. 

We’ve all had our times of darkness, some may be living in it presently. The amazing thing to me is when I finally took my first step of faith and sought out christian counsel, I, for the first time, heard that the darkness causing intense shame for me and equal bondage could be let go. God’s Light penetrating the darkness of shame, regret, bondage allowed me to see a path out of it. 

So much of what Celebrate Recovery and Counseling does is shed this Light of God into another’s darkness. If this short video can give someone a moment of hope and strength to take their first step, it will be worth all the effort in putting it together. God is amazing in the way He, His Son Jesus and The Holy Spirit work to provide the strength to take this first step from darkness to His Brilliant Light.

Last night’s testimony for our Celebrate Recovery was an individual who has been part of our group for the past 5-6 years. She has held a role in our ministry which is needed, but her behaviors were often leaving some with frustrations. With the children she was great. In the past 18 months she was able to complete a step study and that resulted in her sharing her story. She struggles with mental health issues which she spoke about. She is on medication, but her story last night was a revelation all of us needed to hear. It was as though for 30 minutes I stepped into the skin of living with mental illness and the reality of this. From the manner in which the testimony was delivered to the content itself, it fit and gave a clear picture of God’s Work with her. 

As we got to the share group time I was once again shown something God was wanting me to understand. A man I have been meeting with in the counseling ministry was in attendance. He shared that this testimony was as though he were telling his own story. He has completed a step study but he has never had the opportunity to seek medical help for his issue due to no medical insurance. The amazing thing is that he is meeting this morning with the VA. He has petitioned for help due to his service time. This would allow him to get the professional help I know he would benefit from. I have known from the counseling that he has much more potential that he portrays. My prayer today is this assistance will be awarded to him. 

Too often we see the world through the narrow lens for which we live and do not take the time to try and understand where another is coming from. We too quickly judge behaviors rather than discern. I loved how God used this testimony last night to awaken myself and many others. He never wastes any hurt, hang-up or habit if we will surrender it to Him and obey Him in sharing His work in us with others.

I have been deeply troubled every since Kathy’s therapists dismissed her. Yes, she has shown improvement, but this improvement was just that–improvement–not completion. The deep-rooted issue of language was as stuck as it had been. All else had shown improvement. I’ve written before that the therapists had said Kathy knew what needed to be done to continue improvement, it was now up to her. In school settings, I learned to take a child/student who struggles and give one to one assistance in that area. In so doing completion looks like bringing the student to a level that slightly exceeds the current level in the classroom. This is on purpose so that the transition back to the whole classroom allows for any adjustments back to it. A student who knows what the class is already working on will feel more secure in returning and a learning gap will be less likely to reoccur. 

Applying this to Kathy’s case I hadn’t seen Kathy taking steps to address her need. Something about the stroke has impacted her persistence she’s always had before. When I wrote Monday about seeking friends to call (one a day) and converse with Kathy asking deeper questions she needs to process, I didn’t complete the assignment that day. For whatever reason, that day was not the right one. However, yesterday was the day. The schedule is now built and when I told Kathy last night that the schedule was done and everyone she wanted had said, “YES”, she smiled broadly. 

I love how God takes these issues and makes them about Him. I tear-up writing this. He not only loves Kathy dearly, He loves those that want to help and He uses all of this to grow us, help us, complete us. And in this case, I get to see my wife smile broadly. THANK YOU JESUS!

When 2024 began I started reading through the bible using one that is a study bible given to me 32 years ago by Kathy for my birthday. I used this one for many years but had set it aside more recently using the Celebrate Recovery bible which has many relevant tools built into it. 

I’m finding great joy using this particular bible once again. For example, I’m now into Exodus where Moses father-in-law comes to visit him bringing Moses wife and two sons who had gone to live during the exile. During this visit the father in law, Jethro, sees the burdens placed on Moses and he gives him sage advice found in Exodus 18:17-23. This passage was underlined and in rereading it this morning I well remember why. I was opening a new school that year and had no help administratively. At the time, the school district hadn’t opened a new school for 21 years so no one had experience doing such a thing. I took Jethro’s advise to Moses and implemented it (at a much smaller scale) and it relieved a huge amount of my stress. 

God’s Wisdom shared with us through His Word–the Bible is as powerful and as meaningful today as it was when written. So many books are written today by man giving leadership help. Yet, God’s Wisdom shared with Moses by Jethro is solid and no book can give better wisdom that God’s provided in His Word. God’s Ways will always be the right way. Keeping my eyes focused on HIm, listening to His Voice and obeying His commands are my daily commitment.