If you have read my book or heard my testimony you know that I do some educational consulting.  I’ve reduced this tremendously as I’ve entered 2016, however, yesterday I was in Mackay, Idaho staying in a small motel that had no wireless service early in the morning.  This won’t happen often, but just in case it does, this will likely be why I missed the day.

I’ve been listening to a CD series by Graham Cook.  I’m not sure what he calls himself, but I will call him a modern day evangelist.  He does the best job helping others (me) see their need to live in the new life Christ has given us.  It hit me yesterday late afternoon when I was driving home from Mackay that someone reading this blog may not know how to give their life to Christ.  John 3:16 says:  “For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believeth in Him will not perish but have everlasting life.”  So, the first step is to believe in Jesus Christ.  Then in I John 1:9 it says:  “If we confess our sins he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”  And so, the second step is then to confess our sins to Christ.  His promise of forgiveness and purification is his gift.  There is much more than can be said here, but these are the simple steps for asking Christ into your heart.

Now I want to go back to my learning about living in my new life.  One of the things I had learned to do when I was trying to hide my past is keep myself very busy with things the world calls good works.  I was very busy in my school and district as well as in my church.  I didn’t know at the time but this action was my subconscious way of making me feel better about who I was.  If for a moment I would think about the real me, all I would do is freeze up thinking I would be judged and found guilty.  I am learning that in my new life Christ asks us to trust Him with each day.  Matthew 6:34 says:  “Therefore do not worry abut tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself….”  He will not give us more than we can handle but He does want us to handle what is in our day.  So, last Monday when I wrote the first day of this blog I spent the day continuously reminding myself to trust.  My old self was screaming judgment at me with lies like–“Now the whole world will know what a loser you really are.”  I’ve lived long enough to now know this is a lie, but my old self fueled by the evil work of Satan can be very present if I give attention to them.

Christ reminded me yesterday morning when I couldn’t send a blog that He is faithful and true to His word.  He reminds me frequently that He is in my day–today.  He will be in my day tomorrow, but when tomorrow isn’t here, I shouldn’t be there either if my action is worry.  I can trust Him and so I will trust Him.

Coming out into the open about my past abuse has been a big step for me but not one without many awakenings.  I had always thought I’d find judgment from the world around me.  Instead, I’ve found a variety of responses:  support from ones who identity, support from ones who don’t identify but are sympathetic, support that’s simply–“good job”, and those who just remain silent but do so without judgment.

In my spiritual journey I’m finding my need to live in the new life Christ has given me.  Romans 6:6 says “For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with….”  The years of abuse started early in my life, 3-4 years of age and continued until my upper teen years leaving me with some deep rooted belief systems which Celebrate Recovery calls character defects.  The old self I’ve lived in most of my life contains all these defects of character.  The new self Christ has given me is free of these.  Christ also says when we ask Him to come into our lives He gives us a gift–The Holy Spirit.  We have the opportunity to let The Holy Spirit become our motivator, our confidence in moving forward in our new life.  So, I write this because I’m just now learning what this is all about.  When it comes to sharing the intimacy of my life with others, I tend to freeze up in fear thinking no one would want to listen to my message because I’m tarnished from sin.  I now know this is the old self thinking.  However, I am still learning to trust this new self and the motivation of the Holy Spirit in my life.

In the Serenity Prayer which we use weekly in Celebrate Recovery, there is a line that reads: “Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace….”  I’m learning to take each day and each moment within the day and thank God for what He is teaching me through accepting hardships as a pathway to peace.  To learn as I stated in the start of this blog that there isn’t judgment waiting for me, but different types of support, is huge.  I find this by living in my new life.  This brings the peace from accepting what I thought was hardship.

If any of you readers struggle with this type of thinking, please join me and let me know how you are doing.  We are on a journey that leads to victorious living in Jesus Christ.  The team approach is the only way with the team being:  Jesus Christ, God our Father, The Holy Spirit and one another.  God bless you.  Earnie

Writing the book The Journey from Error to Heir has created in me the need to continue the journey beyond the book.  My purpose in its original writing was to let people know there is freedom from the past which life has given us no matter what the Hurt, Hang-up and Habits are we may carry from it.  Now being several months beyond the books completion, I find my journey continues.  I am finding more I need to add to the last section of the book–Finding Freedom.  This then is my reason for creating the blog site.  I will be making daily entries into this (as I learn how this is done)!  Even today has been its own mystery trying to figure out where I enter a blog?

Mostly, I’d like to pass along to any reader what God is showing me about my own recovery from the sexual abuse of my past as well as the emotional and physical abuse.  Each day in my morning devotional time I end my journaling by asking Christ what He wants me to know for this day I am entering.  As I do this and journal what I hear Him saying to me I find I don’t need to panic about whether I am doing what God wants.  I can surrender that fear and live in the assurance I am completing God’s assignment today.

My friend who helped me get started with this part of the journey gave me the scripture of Luke 11:33 to assist me with my fears of writing this.  It says:  “No one lights a lamp and puts it in a place where it will be hidden, or under a bowl.  Instead he puts it on its stand, so that those who come in may see the light.”  I truly appreciated this insight.  My fears after writing the book practically drove me into isolation thinking I had just exposed my life and all it did was tell people why I was such a mess anyway.  To promote the book was just something I was paralyzed in doing.  Now a few months later I am finally responding to God’s nudges to let readers know the inside struggle and continued recovery.

Feel free to respond to me and let me know your thoughts and feedback.  If you have questions you want to address more privately, feel free to use my personal email which is earniele@msn.com.  We are on a journey in this life and I want to make the best of it.  Please join me if this will be helpful for you.