Today my youngest grandson turns 14. Being grandpa is no longer the time of little boys and girls. In a month I will be a great grandpa, a generation past being grandpa. Wow, time just flies!
Yesterday’s post was sincerely written just because it was true for me. Little did I know that in just over an hour the young man I’d meet with was struggling just as my post had indicated I had. As he shared his struggle, I asked if I could read something to him. As I read the post, he began to cry. I told him he had 40 more years of freedom ahead of him that I didn’t just because I kept my issues in secret. I told him I was so proud of him to reach out for help long before I did.
GOD is so amazingly GOOD! What a treasure it is to let all of life’s bondage get turned into tools in God’s toolbox. I was never very good using man’s mechanical tools, but getting to use God’s tools, well, it is just the greatest thing of all!
It seems of late that God is wanting me to more fully not only understand His Love for you (me), but to also receive it as fully as He intends for it to be received. I longed for God’s Love to remove for me all the burdening torment of my past. Today I so fully get to see why the memories of my past are important as I listen to those tormented today with their own burdens. What God’s Love has done is remove all of the bondage from that past. Instead of a bondage, there is a continuous nudge to let others know they don’t have to hide their torments from someone trusted God has placed on their heart. Just as God brought His help for me, I get to be a help to others. In so doing, I see God’s Love at work and I receive a confirming joy within telling me, “See, wasn’t it worth it?!” I just tear up as I write this for YES, it was worth every ounce of it!
As I began my worship time this morning and journaling, I had to stop several times and thank Jesus for His never ending kindness and love. It just exuded forth yesterday in several of the counseling sessions giving Light to darkness that has prevailed for some folks way too long. Experiencing this, and getting to be part of it, I just can’t help but shed tears of great JOY!
As I read my devotional following this journaling, its message cinched it all. It was built from the verse Psalms 23:6: Surely goodness and mercy shall follow you all the days of your life. As I read this and the accompanying message, I was nudged to take a look at the songs we will be using tonight in Celebrate Recovery’s worship. The first one is a favorite of mine–How Can I Keep from Singing. God was telling me to bring this devotional message to tonight’s worship and add it to this song.
I lived so many years not knowing/believing this deep, deep love of God was real for me. And, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t do anything good enough to “make it happen”. Then, the time came when I began to awaken to the truth that God’s love is just what this verse says: it will accompany me all the days of my life and it has been doing just this. Man’s cruelty from abuse in childhood years was used by Satan to try and destroy my belief in God. But, God turned all of this into wonderful lessons of LOVE which can now be shared with others who presently hurt and struggle to believe.
Something I hadn’t expected from the eye surgery is its impact on light. The brilliance of light is so much brighter now. When I was young I could hardly stand the brightness of summer sun. I’d need to wear sunglasses to be out in it. Yesterday, I had this same experience. I was expecting to find my vision being clearer, that is true, but the brilliance of light is even more pronounced. Makes me think of total surrender to God’s Holy Spirit–when we are fully surrendered God’s brilliant Light shines so clearly!
As I began my devotional time this morning I was fighting some temptations–those voices in my head. I then realized I hadn’t started any worship music playing. As soon as I got that started the temptations left. My heart was fully focused on worship. It was a perfect reminder that allowing my spirit to be lifted by God’s Holy Spirit defeats any evil spirit that wants to have a moment of dominance. I love worship music. I know not everyone is wired this way, but whatever focuses you best, remember to use it as God’s Sword of the Spirit. Our surrender to His Spirit always wins our battles. We just need to surrender.
Well, the surgery is over and the hair in the eye sensation was quite real last night. However, as I awoke this morning, that is gone. All I notice now is some flickering light. I go in again this morning for a follow-up visit with the surgeon to make sure all is well.
Living in this body of flesh is something one rarely thinks about until things start going wrong with it. My nephew with his brain cancer, my son-in-law having heart issues, the prayer requests I get from church, from Celebrate Recovery and the emotional difficulties I hear in counseling include these physical needs as well as many emotional ones. All of this reminds me that these vessels of ours are “jars of clay”–fragile, as we are told by Paul in II Corinthians 4:7. So much I take for granted until I can’t do that any longer. It is then that I am reminded of this truth. Living in that sad state however is not where God wants me residing. His promises of life beyond this momentary state is forever without these physical ailments! Today I am living in this state–God’s Promise of Life Eternal with Him!
Today I have a minor surgery–cataract on my right eye. They will do the left one in 3 months they say. They say I can’t lift anything heavy for a week and not to bend over. I asked if it’s ok to hoe in my garden? Surgery in June is quite an interference! They said I could do that if I didn’t bend over and I said I’d be a good boy.
God has been showing up in some very touching ways in our immediate family. I won’t go into details about this, but for grandpa, it is so wonderful to see family members taking hold of God in their lives. Life is so, so much richer when God is in control and we let go of selfishness.
As I was reading my devotional this morning the theme was thanking God for our weaknesses as Paul did. For, in our weakness, we find God’s Strength. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve read this and heard this, but the true significance of it has never really made sense.
For months now I’ve been working on understanding the power of God’s Holy Spirit within me and learning to submit fully to Him. This morning as I was reading about Paul’s thorn in the flesh and his thanks to God for it, I was asked by God’s Holy Spirit to do the same. He used words I often use in counseling sessions. He said, “Why don’t you turn the coin over and instead of dreading your thorn in the flesh, thank God for it. It is in our thanks that we find God’s Strength to withstand and even overcome our weakness in our flesh.” I do often use that phrase “try turning the coin over and believing what’s on the other side”. Little did I understand that I needed to do the same–practice what I preach!
God never quits growing us and I never want to stop being a good student for Him. He’s SO AMAZING!
This weekend is a little different for this grandpa. Grandma is in Wallowa, OR for a grand nephew’s graduation from high school. I’m home because a grandson needs transportation yesterday and today for a basketball tournament he’s in. His mom is in Texas helping her daughter (my granddaughter move). My grandson’s team won both of their games yesterday so that was fun! Later this afternoon there are two more and hopefully their success will continue. My oldest grandson is coming in today to move his bride to the Air Force base in California where he is stationed so he will be here tonight and tomorrow night as they pack. Grandpa feels worthwhile even if I don’t know sports well.
A little change from normal is good for all of us and this is one of those times for me. I’m loving it! GOD is always GOOD!
For several months I’ve been working with a young man who has been dating a young lady. They seem to be a good match for one another but, she was raised in a religion that didn’t recognize the need of accepting Christ into one’s life. They had talked endlessly about this and she and I had also met where I gave her scriptures and a prayer she could pray. When I met with this young man yesterday and asked how his week had gone, he told me his girlfriend had accepted Jesus into her life and he was able to be with her when she prayed. It tears me up just writing this here.
He had been told by family members he needed to break up this relationship before it took him astray. He liked her enough to stay with her and give her the time she needed. Well, I know not all relationships work out this beautifully, but I sure do praise God this one did. This young man said that now he is free to move into a relationship building to see if the outcome is to be marriage. How beautiful is all of this! It is so rewarding to watch God working and the patience He has allowing His kids the time needed. What a wonderful God we get to serve!
Wednesday’s are a very full day of counseling sessions. Yesterday, as it began at 11 am, started with an older couple who have each been divorced and were seeking counsel about their marrying. The next session was deleted from my calendar so I went into that time with this first session. I was planning to run home and eat for the next sessions were to be continuous until 8:00 pm. I walked out of the room with this couple only to see the “cancelled session person” waiting. I have no idea how it got cancelled on my phone, but it was. The next 4 sessions were continuous and each ran into the next due to my blunder. I have said many times I’m not a good secretary for myself and this was another proof. What amazed me the most was no one seemed to care except me. Each session seemed to accomplish what was needed for it.
I did get to go home later in the afternoon for a moment. I hadn’t eaten until then. As I returned for the last 3 sessions a new problem arose. The planned materials for these sessions missing from their files. Even early this morning I could not find where they were. I thought I must have left them here at home, but they are not here. They were saved on the computer so I have now rerun them. In spite of this, the sessions seemed to need to address what was on the individual’s mind different from the original plan.
I do not like going into any planned time unprepared. However, I do know that God trumps all of my work when He wants something else taken care of. This morning I just shook my head as I thanked Him for reminding me to keep His plan first for I need to be flexible. It is amazing how He works!
Earnie Lewis 