For Kathy’s birthday we went to dinner and then to see the movie, Sound of Hope. I was told it was a tear-jerker so be sure and have plenty of kleenexes. Well, it is a fantastic movie and tells a gripping story. In watching it I kept thinking–I know these kids, I know these homes, these shattered relationships. I know this case worker who is trying desperately to get these kids into better home situations. I lived and watched these kids come through the school system. The movie didn’t make my cry, it made me remember what I’ve never wanted to forget–just how innocent children are and what childhood abuse does to them.

My own story isn’t one of alcohol or spousal abuse I had to watch as a child. I had a mom who took care of all of us physically and fed us spiritually. She was unaware of the emotional support needed I think or she did know it but was crippled to know what to do about it. Dad and my one brother, well, if you’re a reader of this blog you know all about them. My story is well in my past. Today, I get to use my story for God’s glory. I will never be anything but grateful and humbled by the gentle and yet thorough ways of God leading us into His love and forgiveness. All of this so we can use what was done to destroy our purpose (Satan’s tactics) and help others see how God will use our past for His honor and glory in helping others. WHAT A SAVIOR AND LORD WE HAVE!

Today is my wife Kathy’s birthday. It was fun reading through the birthday cards to find just the right one. I was such a shackled man inside when we first met, yet God gave her to me to love and to hold from this day forward. She has truly taught me so much about love, kindness and commitment. Our three daughters all say she is the one who taught them how to be a “mom”. I watched that happen too and it is true! God is amazingly good and getting to be her husband only reinforces this.

Today I get to step into several counseling sessions and be part of God’s work one session at a time. I look forward to these times. I will never be anything but humbled and thankful for the way God uses all things to His Glory and Honor as we finally let go and “let Him have His Way with thee”. (Words from the old hymn).

It is amazing how God works. This morning as I was reading my bible (I’m in Isaiah presently) I came across verses which spoke to me 30 years ago when Kathy and I took our family to Turkmenistan to open the first international school in their capitol city, Ashgabat. Starting with Isaiah 42:6, it says: “I will take hold of your hand and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness.”

30 years ago I had put Ashgabat, ’94 in the margin by these words. This morning as I was reading them I couldn’t help but reflect for a moment as Jesus nudged today’s relevance to these same words. Today, to be part of Celebrate Recovery and the counseling ministry, I get to be part of Christ’s work in helping ones see God’s Light, to help others find freedom from captivities replacing their darkness with the TRUTH of GOD’s LIGHT.

30 years ago I had just begun to find God’s Light in my own darkness. Thinking that God would use it 30 years later as He is today would have taken me over the edge. Yet today, I simply rejoice that God took that broken vessel I was then, molded it into a vessel that can hold a candle of His Light. What a humbling privilege and honor it is!

The reunion is over and what a nice time it was. There were originally 12 kids in this family just as in my own. There are now 5 of them left and we have 6. Time has a way of moving on one generation at a time. Legacy is what remains and these moments are great reminders of how important it is to be building a memorable one.

It is early morning and I am headed home in just a little while. It will be well over 100 degrees at home later today and I have this deep need to be sure everything is watered and healthy. There are also blackberries to pick and I sure don’t want to have to pick them in 108 temperature.

This is the Lord’s Day and I rejoice in it. God is so GOOD!

I don’t have a clue how many of you who read this blog have been to Wallowa, Oregon–specifically, Wallowa Lake. This area is one that God created to remind us that no matter what is going on in the world around us, He hasn’t forgotten us. It is breathtakingly beautiful and most of all, peaceful. The days may get too warm in the heat of the summer but every morning the cool air refreshes one’s spirit. The reunion for my wife’s family is today and it’s so nice to be here with her siblings.

I say often that no matter what we are experiencing in life, God has a lesson for us in it. This current struggle I’ve faced with the vehicle purchase we made a couple weeks ago is a good example for me personally. The “stupid” I call myself for not taking the steps to question some things about the car aren’t something unique to me. Once I begin to open up about it as I did last night with Kathy’s family, I didn’t find anyone calling me what I have been doing. These areas of weakness for me are just that–weakness. It doesn’t make me stupid, it makes me naive. I just need to learn to seek wiser help when times like this arise. Well, we still need to correct what took place, but now I can do this without hanging my head.

God wants all of us to have a support team around us and if we don’t open up to those we trust about our struggle, they don’t know how to support. Lesson learned!

Today’s devotional time was hugely sentimental for me. The devotional message was all about God using our adversity as a blessing and this will come about in His timing. Well, when I got to my Bible reading I was reading Isaiah 30 when I came upon the verses 19-26. There I had marked this section and wrote: “This entire section is like a promise from God to me for Celebrate Recovery. Today I told my story to my sponsor–Carol.” This was dated 6/23/08. (In September of 2008 we kicked off our Celebrate Recovery ministry.) Carol was the only one in our leadership team qualified to be a sponsor as the rest of us were going through our first step study with her leading. We had permission at that time to let our sponsor be a woman until we had qualified men to sponsor one another. So many times I’d call her during those days, months and confess my struggles and weep thinking what a mess I am. She’d always remind me of the voices I had been listening to and who the speaker of them was. Then she’d remind me of God’s promises and I’d weep more. I called her before writing this to thank her once again for being God’s sponsor for me during my most vulnerable years in recovery.

This passage goes on to say, “He will send you rain for the seed you sow in the ground and the food that comes from the land will be rich and plentiful….” Our ministry has been in operation for 16 years now and along with it we have added the restoration classes and now the counseling services. God has truly taken my adversity and made it a blessing. How grateful I am to get to be a tool in God’s Workshop.

Yesterday afternoon before counseling sessions began I met with a gentleman who is interested in joining our counseling team. He is known by our one counselor who is a retired licensed counselor. She recommended that I meet with him so I did. I was quite impressed. Our team will meet with him hopefully next week to ensure everyone is confirmed that God is the very one bringing about his participation with this ministry.

I mentioned in Monday’s entry about issues I needed to face. Tuesday I wrote that most of them were taken care of and God had answered prayer. The one issue most troubling to me has yet to be resolved and this morning I needed to face it and work through it with Jesus. It centers around a recent car purchase we made. Turns out the vehicle is not what we thought. I won’t go into all of the details, but when something like this comes about, I panic inside and beat myself up royally for being so “stupid”. I’ve talked to the dealership and they are looking for the “right” vehicle and we will then make all of this work.

This morning as I journaled to Jesus I had to surrender my fears/anxiety to Him. I thought I was old enough that I wouldn’t be doing these things anymore. But, here I am caught in what feels like a huge one once again. As I asked Jesus what He wanted me to know while I was journaling, He asked if I believe He is Lord of all? Of course, I do so He then asked if my Lord of all could handle this issue? Well, yes, if this were for someone else, I would already know this. But, for me–knowing how “stupid” I am, I had my eyes on me rather than Jesus.

At this moment of writing, I’m now praising Jesus for what He is doing and will do. Is my anxiety gone? Well, it wants to flare, but I keep reminding myself that my Lord of all is so much more than this issue. I smile as I write this for Jesus is my LORD OF ALL!

Well, God never disappoints as I keep my focus solely on Him. The concerns of yesterday early morning are mostly in the past. The day resolved some of Monday’s troubles and the singing event went nicely with The Holy Spirit very present. Sometimes I think the language of God’s Spirit for us in the flesh is music. Songs do bring me immediately to the throne of Grace and I sense God’s Spirit’s Presence. I love this!

Today seems like a more “normal” day. I’m headed out to pick blackberries in a few more minutes. I have to wait until there is enough sunlight so I can see them. It is so much easier to pick them when the cool of the morning is with us. Our days are in the low 100’s right now so picking in the afternoon is out of the question!

Trust and Obey, for there’s no other way to be happy in Jesus, but to TRUST AND OBEY! These lyrics from the old hymn, Trust and Obey, are always the right thing to do. I often have these words go through my mind always with their tune accompanying them. Just like right now, I surrender my anxious thoughts to Jesus and turn my thoughts to TRUST and then, OBEY.

Satan is not going to win. I start with this statement because he just isn’t! Yesterday was going to be (to me) a nice catch-up day. I did get the things caught up I wanted to, but in addition to them, it seemed a wheelbarrow load of issues were added to it (and some were quite large ones).

This morning I awoke early with all that today holds on my mind–several counseling appointments, our quartet singing for an hour for a luncheon, and all of the things which went wrong yesterday. In all honesty, I don’t know how in the world the things will get straightened out, but I know God does.

As I was finishing my complaining while I journaled, I asked Jesus what He wanted me to know for today? His response pointed out that He could see my troubled soul. He reminded me that my role is to trust and then obey. Later in my devotions I saw at the bottom of my prayer list the words: Praise Jesus for all things. It was then that I truly saw my lack of trust so I just stopped and thanked Jesus for the way He is going to use yesterday’s torments as tools for growing all that are involved in it. For this I PRAISE HIM!

I have no idea what today will develop into, but I do know that our God is bigger than any obstacle Satan wants to throw our way. I look forward to being a better follower of Jesus as a result of this.

We are home and I’m very glad to be. The weekend, fast and furious, was a wonderful event and I’m so glad we could be present for it. However, I do love being home during the summer, gardening time. I immediately picked a gallon of blackberries after I had unpacked and changed into the gardening attire! Today I can get the rest of the yard and garden back into shape.

There is a young man who I met about 4 years back and he comes faithfully to Celebrate Recovery and for the past year, to counseling. He struggles with depression and an addiction and all of it is severe right at this point in time. He doesn’t want to take meds for it, but…. On the plane ride home I had taken a older book to read, Chicken Soup for the Soul, In looking through the index of it I found a few fitting titles I read thinking they would be beneficial for him. I almost cried on the plane just reading them and thinking of him. Well, this week I’m going to share them with him. I know that God uses all things for HIs Glory if we will submit them to Him and let ourselves be vulnerable to whatever is crippling us at the moment. So, I’m praying for a breakthrough for this young man. If you would like to join me, I’d sure appreciate it. His counseling time is 5:00 pm (MDT) on Wednesdays.

God is a miracle-working GOD. I’m praying this might be the right time for one of them.