Tag Archives: faith

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES: JUNE 23, 2025

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This post may seem odd to anyone who has never had any therapy for PTSD. I had 3+ years of it and this mornings devotional time had a moment of it reoccuring. I was journaling about some changes I’d like to have made in our counseling ministry I work with. I presently do the scheduling for all four of us who counsel and it has become more than I’m good at handling. I’ve never been a good secretary for myself as well as for anyone else. The burden of this has been a playground for Satan to try and use.

When I was in therapy I learned to use my non-dominate hand to give my young self voice. I’d put my pen in my right hand (I’m left-handed) and give him a chance to speak his questions and then I’d respond to them writing with my left hand. I did this exercise faithfully for well over a year. This allowed my young self to emotionally mature into myself of today.

As I journaled earlier I was prompted to put my pen in my right hand for there was another voice wanting to speak to me. It turned out to be the voice of my spirit. He was telling me that I didn’t need to listen to my mind ruled by my flesh. That mind had lots of conflicting voices. I needed to listen to my spirit. This is where God’s Spirit resides and He wants me free of my old voices so learn to listen first and foremost to my spirit where God’s Voice speaks. God wants our counseling ministry to complete His purpose for it. I just need to talk to the right people at church.

I know this likely sounds odd, but I needed to hear this today. God’s work is so AMAZING!

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES: MAY 23, 2025

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This morning I had another awakening. Several months ago now my journey took on the task of finding out who this Holy Spirit is and how He works with me. I’ve known about the Holy Spirit in our lives and the Gift He is when we accept Christ into our lives, but just Who is He?

I began reading again The Spiritual Man by Watchman Nee and this was enlightening/helping. The curriculum I’ve been using brought out the significance of our spirit and our need to commit our spirit to The Holy Spirit’s leadership so our walk/talk/self-control is fully led by The Holy Spirit within us. All of this makes perfect sense, but doing it–well, that’s another story.

As I wrote yesterday’s journal entry which I mentioned here yesterday, I wrote that I should obey The Holy Spirit’s leading in my life. Then I was nudged to change should to will. Today as I journaled I was able to separate Christ’s role for me from The Holy Spirit’s role in me. When Christ was here on earth He had The Holy Spirit in him just as we do. He learned to obey Him and Trust Him. The role Christ played for us was His continuous obedience to God’s Holy Spirit leading His actions or his not acting. The Holy Spirit was in Him and He showed us how to use this Gift–for obedience to His nudges/voice. As I write this I realize how long I’ve known this, but haven’t made it a solid practice. I’ve wanted to sort out the nudges I obey from those I fear to obey thinking they can be set aside. Someone else would do them who wouldn’t be afraid to do so.

This morning it became clear I am to do just as Christ did–obey The Holy Spirit fully. That is spiritual freedom. Good grief! Sometimes I think I am such a slow learner! But, on the other hand, I’m glad I’m still learning. God is so patient and faithful!

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES: MAY 16, 2025

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Today is my oldest grandson’s birthday. What a treasure he is to our entire family. I praise God for him! Happy birthday Dante!

Last night’s lesson for Celebrate Recovery was a testimony from a neighboring CR. She used a line in her testimony that I didn’t catch at the time but it was shared twice in small group following. It was then that I was taken by it. The line–“what isn’t shared cannot be healed”. James 5:16 tells us that when we confess one to another we will be healed.

This morning I am leaving with two other young men from church for a men’s retreat. It is the first one we’ve had for several years. I will be part of the worship time as well as a small group leader. I am always a little more timid about sharing my own story with men I know but they aren’t a part of CR. When men come for their own help it’s easy to tell them you needed help. I have that sense of “less than” when I’m nudged to share points of my past to ones I have no idea if they even have a past. Satan always wants to run me through the mill at these times. So, the line used last night hit me squarely as I heard it twice in small group.

This morning Jesus was reminding me that never in my years of sharing my past have I been “judged” by it. Instead, I’ve only heard thanks for it. It was just the reminder I needed to tell Satan that I’m a child of the King and not him. He has to deal with Jesus on this one for I’m sharing what Jesus nudges me to do. How I love our Savior and Lord–Jesus Christ!

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES: MAY 13, 2025

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There is a man who has been coming for counseling now for several months. His wife of almost 20 years is an abuse victim and he is seeking help for himself in knowing how to deal with its impact on their marriage. In a session a couple weeks ago he named a book she had read about hope. I ordered it and have almost finished it. It is written by a counseling psychologist PhD whose speciality is abuse victims. As I’ve read this book I found myself reliving my own counseling days. The author is superb, and the memories I have are vivid.

As I’ve processed while reading this book, Jesus has pointed out a very real point that I’ve not considered before. First, God’s healing from any issue we might have is always considered a miracle. I prayed for that miracle in my life all of my life. What I hadn’t considered was whose miracle did I want–God’s or mine? It wasn’t until I realized how much greater God’s miracle was than mine that I accepted His with open arms. The thing God has opened my eyes to in the past few days is that His Miracles always have eternal value while we are here on earth.

I wanted my past obliterated from my mind so I could finally live life in peace–that was what my miracle would look like if granted. God wanted to give me peace from the bondage of my past keeping the memories so I could use them for His eternal purposes. He helped me find intimate love for Him right here on earth as I allowed His Miracle to take place for me. My eyes were only focused on my selfish wants while He wanted to grant something so much greater. The greater for me is using this past of mine to help others find their eternal value to God no matter what they bring to the table. WOW, GOD IS SO, SO GOOD!

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES: MAY 9, 2025

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Have you ever thought through why we hold our problems in instead of letting them be known so we can have help? Our Celebrate Recovery lesson last night was AMENDS. The author of the material makes AMENDS an acrostic. The first letter–A stands for admit your hurts and harm. For some reason last night (even though I’ve heard this lesson no less than 18 times and taught it in step studies at least that many also) I was hit with the “harm” part.

As I began Celebrate Recovery 18 years ago with the help of 6 others, I began to address the hurt of my past. After a year I started the 3.5 years of counseling as well as attending CR. I fully addressed the hurts of my past. I also stepped into the harm with the help of the counselor, but I didn’t fully resolve them. The one “character defect”–harm, I was left with is having gay thoughts. I’ve never acted on them but they do cross my mind. Having these has always made me feel as though I’m like my brother even though I know better. It has been an entry point for evil’s attacks on my identity and value.

I’ve talked about this a few times and even written about it. Last night’s lesson brought home the reality that it is one thing to confess this, it is another thing to bring it before God’s Light so I can be OK with it. We all have these “character defects” in our beliefs we must deal with. Well, this one is mine. My counselor, years back, even asked me in one session if I thought it made me “less than” others? Of course I did! It made me like my brother I said. However, he acted on it for years with me and I’ve never acted on it with anyone. We share a temptation and that’s it.

Today I thank God for helping me see HIs Light in this struggle I’ve dealt with for SO LONG. I can praise God for being so faithful in helping me to never succumb to this. What a blessed God we get to serve!

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES: MAY 5, 2025

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Today is the birthday for my last living Aunt. She is 94 today and I doubt that she even knows any of this. She has been on hospice for several months and could pass any day. In fact, I asked Jesus if He’d consider taking her home for her birthday as she’d be so thrilled to step into eternity with Him, with my Uncle and all of those who have gone before her.

Something else I need to write about today is on my heart. Yesterday I wrote about my sponsor spending Saturday evening with Kathy and me. He and I had a few hours to catch up while we sat on our deck in the evening hours. I was so grateful for this. Since he moved away we still reach out to one another twice a day. It isn’t like face to face as it use to be and I miss that. Yesterday was like a torment for me. All afternoon I was plagued with temptations. The same ones I’ve had all of my life.

This morning as I began to journal I wrote to Jesus expressing my deep desire to have these done away with. I know their seeds were planted in me 70 years ago when I was a very young boy. But, my faith has grown so much and my trust in Jesus and His Gift–The Holy Spirit, have done so much so I can live in Freedom. Yet, these tormenting times do still occur. As I asked Jesus to please speak to me about this, I heard this response. He asked me to return to this very spot where I sit right now. He said that I find Him here each and every morning. Why not try to find Him right here as I have tormenting times like yesterday? Listen to the worship music that brings tears to my eyes just as it does while I write this. Let Him–my GREAT HEALER take this tormenting spirit and send it fleeing.

I don’t know why, but this message today truly hit home. Not as something to know, but actually do. I know better, but I still attempt to fight temptation with my mind, my determination as though it will work. Today, in all of Christ’s sensitivity, He spoke clearly what I even say to others about their own temptations and I’ve “learned” myself. It became real today and I will do just as He said. GLORY BE TO GOD!

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES: MAY 4, 2025

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Yesterday was an exceptional day for me. I got the last of the planting done in the garden and all of the flower pots on our deck. I then went to my prayer warrior’s home and planted her little garden for her. Last night my Celebrate Recovery sponsor came for dinner and the evening. He and his wife returned from AZ for a wedding of his wife’s dear friend. He wasn’t going to attend it so it was a perfect time for us to have a few hours together since they’d moved away a couple of years ago. I’ve not had a sponsor so faithful as he and I needed that faithful commitment. He said he did too so it has been a gift from God for us both.

A new client came for counseling yesterday morning. As he sat down in his chair, I asked what he’d like for me to know? He said he wasn’t sure what he should tell me for he was nervous and hadn’t really shared with anyone what he needed to talk about. I then asked if he’d feel better if he knew a little about me? He liked that idea so I told him briefly about my own story. It was then that he said, “OK, I can talk to you.” It was then that he began to share his story of sexual abuse and beatings in an orphanage where he spent his early childhood years before he was finally adopted.

When this appointment was first made it was for him and his wife. This will take place, but he also added he wanted to continue yesterday’s sessions for now he could talk to someone about his past. I’ll never cease being amazed how God uses everything to bring Glory to His kids!

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES: APRIL 30, 2025

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Yesterday was a remarkable day that I will try and put words to. God has been focusing me on the power of words and to the added portion my prayer warrior added, words can be prophetic. Yesterday had 5 counseling sessions in it. In each one there was a presence of Jesus I knew. It wasn’t new to me for I know Jesus’ presence is a promise. But, this time there was a confidence I hadn’t known before. There were “words” needing to be spoken in response to what the client was saying. In each case, they were words of clarification to what they believed were true for themselves. One lady said, “Your words are prophetic for me. They are what God has wanted me to hear. Thank you.” And then, she broke and cried–I did too.

She then told me something about herself she had never shared with anyone. It tied to a severe sexual abuse time in her younger years. A line she used was, “God asked if she would be willing to give her body to Him?” She went on to say that when she had heard a retreat speaker use this line, she knew God wanted this from her too. As I heard it, I had the same sense for myself. So, this morning I surrendered my body to God for Him to use. I’m not afraid to share my story (with Earnie boundaries). However, this morning I told God I’d let Him set the boundaries for what I share as He would nudge me to do so.

All of my life I’ve so wanted to be useful for God. I just hadn’t realized until yesterday how often I shield what I share about my own past. I needed to awaken to how big TRUST needs to be for me. I can trust God in sharing for His nudges never need to be a threat as I’ve so often felt.

Words are POWERFUL and God does use them PROPHETICALLY as well when we are surrendered to Him. In this I can have humble confidence!

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES: APRIL 17, 2025

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Forty-three years ago today I met Kathy and we had our first date. It was a blind date set up by a teacher who taught for me and her husband. This started my journaling this morning as I began to thank God for His wonderful blessing having placed Kathy in my life for all of these past 43 years. She has been the voice of God so often to me helping me see steps I needed to take and to also have the trust and courage to take them. How grateful I am for this gift of God to me.

I had intended for this above message to be my focus of the morning’s journaling. However, God had something else He wanted me to also focus on. Today is Christ’s last day to be with his disciples. It was the Last Supper and His time in the Garden of Gethsemane. It was the day when he was taken away never to return for the following day he would be crucified. Believers know this and many non-believers know this message. However, what God was pointing out to me was something He wanted me to know and do this day. He wanted me to emphasize the truth that for everyone I meet with today needs to know He did all of this for them. Each one of us is worthy of this price in spite of what we have believed about ourselves.

I brought this up to a man I was meeting with yesterday and he cried saying he really needed to hear this. The immensity of what Christ did for all of us is so critical for us to know and believe. What we so often miss is the intimacy Christ wants to have with each one of us as we accept this Gift of sacrifice He paid. The Power of the Resurrection is ours if we only believe. This Power will raise us out of the pits of our sinfulness and bondage if we will only believe as we receive. This Power is best seen and known once we open ourselves fully to Christ spending intimate time with Him and listening to His Holy Spirit speak to us through God’s Word and our prayers. This message is what God wanted me to hear this morning and to give to those I’m with this day both in counseling and in Celebrate Recovery tonight. All I can say is Thank You God for not so long ago I was one who wished all of this could be true for me.

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES: APRIL 3, 2025

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These past several days have been a whirlwind which I’ve written each and every day. The past two days I’ve addressed the spiritual warfare and what I’ve learned from this realization. Last night was the night when I counsel through the evening. As I got home and was warming my supper my phone rang. It was my brother whose son was recently diagnosed with brain cancer. His daughter and son-in-law had flown in yesterday morning to spend a couple of days with the family and to pray over her brother (she and her husband co-pastor a church in California). Ron, my brother, called to tell me when his son and his wife arrived, their demeanor was changed from the sadness of their recent news. He quickly began to share with them the following news:

Matt, my nephew, had shared his diagnosis with his boss who said he would be supporting him all the way. This boss had called his own who lives in California. (This boss owns the company Matt works for). His boss told him that he would share this with his very good friend who was a world-renown neurologist who is doing brain cancer research in West Virginia. In his doing this, he told Matt’s boss to let him know his friend wanted Matt to fly back and let him be part of his most recent research trials where some success is being found. I don’t know more than this, but I do know that Matt and his wife, along with us family members, just can’t thank God enough for giving a glimmer of HOPE!

John 1:4-9 tells of John the Baptist telling how Jesus is the Light that penetrates darkness. This present darkness of the past few days has been given this Light of Jesus–HOPE. I don’t want to jump to any conclusions except that God does really care for each and everyone of His kids! How much I thank Him for this!