Tag Archives: faith

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES: OCT. 22, 2024

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This morning has been a time of learning/awakening as I began my devotions. As I got up and was starting my devotions my mind was filled with temptations. As I started to journal I wrote asking Jesus to take these thoughts captive and I started to praise Him singing a praise song I love. I wrote that the wounds of my past He wants me to use as His tools. Satan wants me to see them only as triggers which he has done throughout my lifetime which actually began in my teen years. As I wrote this out I recognized something I knew I should have seen years ago. This is a choice I have. My wounds do not have to be triggers any longer. God has made them to be tools.

I’ve been using my past for several years now to help others know they don’t have to keep in secret as I did the wounds of abuse and subsequent sins. This morning I actually saw in my mind putting the triggers of this past of mine along side the tools of this past. I then saw the double-edged sword that is God’s Word cutting out the triggers. This time I humbly praise God where years ago in therapy I wept when the counselor was having me cut the umbilical cord of my beliefs of me so I could believe I am a child of the King. I did that surgery then out of obedience to the counselor. It left me filled with fear for I didn’t know the person who is a child of the King. Today, however, I have learned much better who this child is and so today I used the two-edged sword to cut away those triggers of wounds.

As I ended my journaling and asked Jesus what He wanted me to know from Him for today, He said He’d been patiently waiting for this moment to occur. Today I was ready. Boy, writing this just makes me tear up in joyful thanksgiving!

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES: OCT. 18, 2024

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Last night’s Celebrate Recovery lesson was “Powerless”. It follows lesson 1 which is Denial. Once we step out of denial and realize the problem we face, the struggle we can’t overcome, etc., we then must realize that within our own selves we are powerless to stop the addiction, struggle, hurt, etc., without the power of God Himself. All of this is good to KNOW, but finding God’s Strength to do all of this is not necessarily easy. Our pride truly gets in the way!

Last night I taught this lesson and it brings back SO many memories of my own need to finally realize how much I thought I needed control of all my hurts and habits so NO ONE would know about them. I had so many fears that I’d lose my job, my church, my friends and family if they knew. Even after my beginning years of counsel I kept in control of who knew my story so that the community, which included our church, wouldn’t know. Even my family didn’t know until I finally had gotten to the place where I was going to write my autobiography which then started this blog. I didn’t want my siblings finding out their brother had written a book which “exposed” them as though they were the problem.

God is so Amazing! Once I stepped into vulnerability letting God take control of my “mess” did this “protected by me” mess turn into a message God uses. Equally amazing is that I found no judgment in people hearing my story. Instead, I would always have ones want to talk because they had their own story which hadn’t been told, but they felt now like they could and should.

Well, stepping out of powerlessness and into obedience to God took me lots of years and even today I need constant reminders to not hide. Always though, God’s gentle voice reminds me, “I’ve got this–do not be afraid!”

THE JOURNEY CONTINUES: SEPT. 29, 2024

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A week ago today when I was journaling and asking Jesus what He wanted me to know from Him for today, I heard Him ask me when I was going to listen and obey Him fully? I like to think I do this fairly well, which I have. But, Jesus is not OK with my “fairly well”. He is asking for the “fairly” to be taken out of the equation. He seeks for me to replace fairly with full–full well.

I have written much of late about this process of learning about the significance of God’s Holy Spirit living in me and finding God’s Strength/Power from this residence in me. It is incredible to start putting together all this means. When trust and faith are placed in front of all willfulness/selfishness, one starts on this path of obedience. It is truly taking I Corinthians 10:13 to the test. This verse says, “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

When I’m tempted to tell The Holy Spirit, “not now” or something along that line or “I just want to stay with what I’m doing, I can do that later, just remind me.” I am disobeying. I’ve always looked at this verse from the lens of some self-gratification/selfishness. Yes, these are common to man, but just as common to man is ignoring a nudge to do whatever is being done presently. The JOY of the Lord being my strength is never found in my selfishness–only in my obedience. Today, living a week in obedience has given me great JOY as I write this. It is no surprise either that obedience that is “full well” has no sense of one not getting their way. Instead, it is full JOY!