This morning has been a time of learning/awakening as I began my devotions. As I got up and was starting my devotions my mind was filled with temptations. As I started to journal I wrote asking Jesus to take these thoughts captive and I started to praise Him singing a praise song I love. I wrote that the wounds of my past He wants me to use as His tools. Satan wants me to see them only as triggers which he has done throughout my lifetime which actually began in my teen years. As I wrote this out I recognized something I knew I should have seen years ago. This is a choice I have. My wounds do not have to be triggers any longer. God has made them to be tools.

I’ve been using my past for several years now to help others know they don’t have to keep in secret as I did the wounds of abuse and subsequent sins. This morning I actually saw in my mind putting the triggers of this past of mine along side the tools of this past. I then saw the double-edged sword that is God’s Word cutting out the triggers. This time I humbly praise God where years ago in therapy I wept when the counselor was having me cut the umbilical cord of my beliefs of me so I could believe I am a child of the King. I did that surgery then out of obedience to the counselor. It left me filled with fear for I didn’t know the person who is a child of the King. Today, however, I have learned much better who this child is and so today I used the two-edged sword to cut away those triggers of wounds.

As I ended my journaling and asked Jesus what He wanted me to know from Him for today, He said He’d been patiently waiting for this moment to occur. Today I was ready. Boy, writing this just makes me tear up in joyful thanksgiving!