This morning I came to the last page of my journal. As I concluded filling this last page I took a moment to reflect on the spiritual awakenings that took place during the months of filling the pages in it. The greatest awakening for me has been recognizing this amazing importance of worship as I start my day. I have always for years started my day with my devotional time always loving the silence of the morning for then I could think clearly and hear God clearly (I thought). I had no idea what a great chasm I still had not including my spirit. As I have added the worship music in the background of each morning it instantly awakens me to my spirit and God’s Holy Spirit. I then instantly want my spirit to be in total submission to God’s Holy Spirit. My big discovery in this is that before this time I would know God is present. By adding this worship element, I now not just know, I BELIEVE and I’m free. I’m free to believe fully any doubt I might have. I’m free to give to Jesus all of the weights/struggles/concerns given during counseling sessions. The beautiful part in this is that every single time, God takes them and I can believe HE will be the answer for each one of them.

I found out yesterday afternoon that my nephew has a brain tumor. This morning he is having a biopsy done to determine if it is malignant. That will not be known until the first of next week. My brother called me to say spirits are good. This morning as I’ve prayed and believed, I saw God, the GREAT HEALER, touching Matt with the assurance HE is at work in this. How I love our FATHER GOD!

Sometimes in my devotional time God shows up like no other time. Today has been one of them. I had thought last night I might oversleep this morning since we lost an hour of sleep. Instead, I awoke an hour earlier than usual. It seemed there would be no more sleep so I got up. As I began with the worship music playing, I journaled about yesterday’s counseling time to start. The small group of guys did the next to last lesson in our curriculum. It was one taking a look at the ugliness of sinful porn and its effect on our personal lives as well as our marital lives. One walked away from this lesson wondering why would I ever step into such sinfulness?

As I continued my journaling I lamented with God about my own sinfulness. In so doing and asking Jesus what He wanted me to know for today, I heard this message. He said, “I know the weight of sin and its temptations for I was flesh as you. What I did have that you didn’t was a direct contact with my DAD–Father God. My earthly parents made sure of this. Even though you had access to our God, you didn’t have an earthly father who kept you in touch with your Heavenly Father. I quickly learned to rely on my Father God and Trust Him. As I faced all temptations I had my Heavenly arsonal in place–God’s Word, the Armor of God and a firm belief. I knew my purpose for being here on earth. You have learned this in your later adult years while I was born into this learning.” There is more He said, but all of this just brought me to tears of JOY.

This God we get to serve never gives up on us and I never want to quit serving Him for HE IS WORTHY!

Yesterday our choir sang the song “Refiner’s Fire” in our morning worship. When I was in my 30’s and 40’s I sang it as a solo. At the time a singer Steve Green had made it well known. I only sang it a couple of times for the message it had was just too great for me to convey through my own singing. I wanted so much for the message to be true for me, but the weight of my past was still in possession of me.

From the church service I went to the class our counseling group is leading for married couples. The topic of the class for yesterday was intimacy. The message was brought out that intimacy best starts if we can be intimate with God Himself. If our trust is strong in Him, we can also then have strong intimacy with our spouse. I mentioned to the class my struggle with intimacy in the earlier years I wrote in the first paragraph. At that point in my life I only wanted to trust God. I deeply wanted to serve Him, but it was too great of a risk having my past and letting it be known.

God’s refining fire wants to cleanse us as He has been doing for me. This refining fire destroys the fear of people knowing and replaces it with a trust that longs for others to know this intimacy for themselves. This trust is a foundational point for intimacy with God and with our spouse or anyone else we want to have as significant in our lives. If this is you, battling as I did, to trust God, I challenge you to take this first step of sharing/telling someone your deep secret/s. God so wants to free you as He has me!

I keep bringing up (actually God just is not letting me go beyond what He has given me in this new curriculum–Every Man a Pure Warrior) the changes God wants me to make. In the small group yesterday morning I spoke of the phone call I had with the author of this material. This is the group I’ve worked with the longest on the material. They are fully invested in wanting to be thorough in their obedience to God’s changes in their lives.

As we talked it became very clear: The Holy Spirit speaks to us when temptation hits; we have the choice to obey Him or allow the temptation to manifest itself. If we choose to allow the temptation to continue, whether we know it or not, we have opened the door for the evil oppression to enter. The Armor of God and its protection is removed. We get to choose which way we are going to go. Allowing the temptation entrance is giving our flesh the voice and disallowing The Holy Spirit to have His.

As I was journaling this morning and asked Jesus what He wanted me to know from Him for today, His first response was to reread what He had said to me yesterday. In so doing I was brought face to face with the message in the previous paragraph. He wants this anchored in me just as God wants it anchored in each of His believers. The still small voice of His Holy Spirit is to be sought, listened to and then obeyed. This allows His Armor to work for us and it allows The Sword of the Spirit to penetrate the evil/darkness that wants to enter us–God’s temple He made us to be when we accepted Christ into our lives. We have the choice. Lets keep our temple holy.