Coming out into the open about my past abuse has been a big step for me but not one without many awakenings.  I had always thought I’d find judgment from the world around me.  Instead, I’ve found a variety of responses:  support from ones who identity, support from ones who don’t identify but are sympathetic, support that’s simply–“good job”, and those who just remain silent but do so without judgment.

In my spiritual journey I’m finding my need to live in the new life Christ has given me.  Romans 6:6 says “For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with….”  The years of abuse started early in my life, 3-4 years of age and continued until my upper teen years leaving me with some deep rooted belief systems which Celebrate Recovery calls character defects.  The old self I’ve lived in most of my life contains all these defects of character.  The new self Christ has given me is free of these.  Christ also says when we ask Him to come into our lives He gives us a gift–The Holy Spirit.  We have the opportunity to let The Holy Spirit become our motivator, our confidence in moving forward in our new life.  So, I write this because I’m just now learning what this is all about.  When it comes to sharing the intimacy of my life with others, I tend to freeze up in fear thinking no one would want to listen to my message because I’m tarnished from sin.  I now know this is the old self thinking.  However, I am still learning to trust this new self and the motivation of the Holy Spirit in my life.

In the Serenity Prayer which we use weekly in Celebrate Recovery, there is a line that reads: “Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace….”  I’m learning to take each day and each moment within the day and thank God for what He is teaching me through accepting hardships as a pathway to peace.  To learn as I stated in the start of this blog that there isn’t judgment waiting for me, but different types of support, is huge.  I find this by living in my new life.  This brings the peace from accepting what I thought was hardship.

If any of you readers struggle with this type of thinking, please join me and let me know how you are doing.  We are on a journey that leads to victorious living in Jesus Christ.  The team approach is the only way with the team being:  Jesus Christ, God our Father, The Holy Spirit and one another.  God bless you.  Earnie