Yesterday was an interesting day for me. I told the Lord in my journal I was feeling emotionally exhausted and somewhat physically exhausted too. I was disappointed in myself thinking I was stronger than I am. The idea that I had begun a blog to carry on the message of healing from my childhood abuse was just an assignment in my head. However, stepping into doing it brought out many old fears and anxieties. I’m not writing this to say I’m sorry I did it, just to explain life in my flesh. So while I was journaling yesterday I heard Christ telling me to remember to only live in today. His Holy Spirit is always with me in the present day. Don’t be anxious about anything but surrender it to Him. So I did that yesterday saying I would be joyful in the day.
The day ended up being just as Christ promised. During the morning I met with a mom about her high school child who is struggling, talked with one of our Celebrate Recovery guys who is struggling to live a pure life and lastly talked at length with a lady who had just finished reading my book and its impact on her. She called to say it was bringing her to the point of seeing that she can face some giants in her life she hadn’t faced yet. I only write this here to indicate just what Christ is able to do when I quit trying to do it on my own. I had no idea I’d be having the conversations with the man and the gal who had read the book. I had made the appointment with the mom and that was it. The rest was simply God’s planning and my surrender. I continuously need to be reminded that I should never try to take this on my own. God uses a surrendered soul–one who is joyous living surrendered knowing Christ is in control and I don’t need to try and be.