The Journey Continues: March 31, 2016

Yesterday I wrote that I’d been listening to Graham Cook’s CDs regarding “Brilliant Thinking”.  The brilliant is reflecting God’s thinking which The Holy Spirit helps us do once we’ve given our life to Jesus.  So, I’m going to get personal here.  In my heart I’ve always wanted my life to be a reflection of Christ and for Christ.  However, Earnie wants that to be recognized once in a while by man so his ego can feel good about “being a reflection for Christ.”  I have been really challenged the last couple days by this and here’s why.  In starting this blog I thought I was taking a “next big step” in doing what God is placing on my heart to do.  I’d written my autobiography and finally, 8 months later, I started this blog site to continue to write about what God is teaching me regarding the topic of being an “heir” to Him.

In the first two weeks of the blog there were a few who made comments and a few who began to follow it.  That stroked the ego.  In the last few days there haven’t been any comments or new followers so I began to question whether I should even be spending time with this.  There isn’t anyway to know if someone simply reads it.  What was sad for me is seeing myself as the selfish man I am when my eyes are on the “outcome of my work through man’s recognition” rather than through sheer obedience of God’s nudging.  My eyes had shifted to man rather than being kept on God and His purposes for my time.

There is a freshness in spirit knowing I’m doing something for Christ and out of sheet obedience to Him.  However, it sure is easy to let my old self creep in.  I want to be better at recognizing this in my days ahead.  So, not for selfish reasons stroking my ego, but for true learning about being obedient of Christ, I’d like to hear from anyone who is willing to share their own experiences along this line.  Thanks and God bless!

8 thoughts on “The Journey Continues: March 31, 2016”

  1. It is sometimes difficult to “check my ego at the door”. I want to be obedient and live for “an Audience of One”. But there are moments when my ego sneaks in like an unwanted shadow and I am tempted to measure my obedience by the world’s acclaim. Our God of unfailing love does help us to grow and mature but in my experience I am never immune from the shortfalls of my own humanity.

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  2. Thank you for this. I love your clarity. Yes, “an audience of one” is exactly right. In being this transparent and vulnerable, I forgot momentarily why I am doing this. Thank you.

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  3. I just wanted to let you know I’m still following and still reading. In my opinion wanting to have people like what you write isn’t a bad thing. It’s like me with my poems. If people don’t comment or like them it bothers me, (My ego) I guess but there’s another way to look at it, (In my opinion again) I’m making them smile, making them remember things I remember. Although you and I aren’t close friends and we haven’t seen each other for years, we’re still friends in my book. I’m often reminded of you when I talk to people because they say “Hey Bert, where’s Erinie? LOL, I don’t know if you’ve heard that before but I’ve been hearing it for years. Hang in there, you’re doing great work and impacting people even if they don’t always let you know…

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  4. Thank you for your comment Bert. It has been so good reconnecting with friends and neighbors through this process. Yes, I also appreciate your poems. I often see them and they often do make me smile as I read them. Keep up the good work.

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  5. I also struggle with self wanting recognition. People should know how much effort I put in for their Easter celebration! And so starts my pity party. Ecclesiastes 11:1 talks about “Cast your bread upon the waters and in a few days it will return”. God’s ways are higher than our ways, and He will use our efforts in ways we may never see, even if my efforts have a selfish motive. But to give in to those feelings of ‘am I making a difference’ and stop serving is to give victory to satan. So sometimes I have to serve or do out of obedience and in the absence of joy, asking God to help me with my attitude. Earnie, look at how many people you touched in your life of obedience to reflect God’s love in spite of your inner struggle. I see your whole life as one sustained by the Holy Spirit, and now, sharing your struggle will help others who have similar struggles but are frozen by shame, embarrassment and guilt. Keep doing what you’ve been doing, knowing God will use it for His kingdom and glory. CR tells us to have an attitude of gratitude, thanking God for our blessings as well as our struggles. It is through struggles that we learn and grow closer to being the person God wants us to be. Your blog gives me pause to think, and that is a very good thing.

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  6. Wow, Dwight, thank you. I do need the reminder of your comment so thank you for it. I want the mess of my past to be the message of my present and future as Celebrate Recovery teaches and helps us achieve in our relationship with Christ. God bless you and thank you.

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  7. Earnie, I just read through all your blogs up to date and again feel so blessed to be part of your life. You are an inspiration to all our family and everyone you come in contact with, whether it’s in person or by your book or in your singing. I love you so very much my brother. Keep up the wonderful work you are doing. God Bless You,

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