Never try and predict the birth date for your grandchild.  They don’t cooperate.  In spite of contractions continuing, this child is not wanting to be set free of the womb as of yet.  Amy was reminding me last night that one of her kids took three days of contractions to finally go into delivery mode.  Kathy’s birthday is tomorrow so maybe they will be twins 66 years apart! (Oops, maybe she doesn’t want this known??)

In doing my 7-Pillars lesson for this coming week I am continuing to be challenged with more awakenings.  It is as though I’m finally awake to mom’s humanness and the lack of physical/emotional nurture.  With this, I can now see the same for God and His Holy Spirit which live in me.  I’ve known this spiritual promise most of my life.  I’ve longed for the reality to be known too just like I longed for the reality of my mom’s conversations–they just didn’t ever materialize.  The current lesson talks about how God uses many things such as dreams, memory flashbacks, etc. as The Holy Spirit’s nudges to address an area in my life.  I immediately thought back to my late 30’s when I’d have numerous nightmares each night with the haunting pursuit of someone trying to catch me.  I would always be stuck in some type of mire like quicksand and my legs would be paralyzed.  I’d yell and scream as well as lash out.  I’d eventually awaken or Kathy would awaken me.  Little did I know that God’s Holy Spirit was wanting me to seek help.  I finally did and the dreams have never returned.  I simply thought God was being nice.

As I’ve begun to more fully realize the thoroughness of God’s healing, I now see that He is wanting me to know The Holy Spirit is truly intimate and consistently with me.  Also, He is God and not human.  Something else this morning has hit a home run.  It is the reality of my need for reliance on God and not on myself.  A deep seated character defect I’ve always had is that if I couldn’t envision myself doing something I’d decline the offer to step into it.  God has pointed out this morning that when He opens a door where I cannot see me doing it, that is my cue to turn to Him.  He is the One who is capable.  He simply wants me to trust Him and obey if He is nudging.  This reality made my connection with Aslan clearer.  I knew He wanted me to stay with this project but I couldn’t still cannot see myself completing much with it.  I can see God completing it easily, but my part is very unclear.  So, I’m now challenged to put FAITH into action.  Thank you God for your faithfulness and patience with me as I learn these vital lessons.