Today started as one of those when sleep wouldn’t come once the clock struck 3:30 am.  I hadn’t done my lesson for tonight’s 7-Pillars class so I got up and finished it.  This was enough to ensure I wouldn’t go back to sleep.  The entire lesson was on the trauma of childhood and its deep entanglements in your body and mind.  Here we are in the 6th of 7 pillars and only now are we addressing the root of trauma.  There was a check list one was to complete.  I did it not giving too much thought to the end results.  I already knew trauma had riddled my childhood.  However, when I finished I was asked to count how many “yes” boxes I’d checked.  If it was more than 4 one had trauma in their childhood.  If there were 8 or more the trauma was clinically significant.  Well, I had 15 boxes marked yes and 2 that I needed to talk with someone about before checking them.  I have never wanted to be bluntly honest about the impact of my childhood on me.  I’d like to think, “I’m normal.”  Well, I’m coming out of denial more and more so this did surprise me, but not nearly as much so as it would only a few years back.  What I won’t do is hide these results, but see them as my next steps to overcoming anything that is revealed from the lesson.

A significant issue in the lesson of tonight is addressing where God, Christ and The Holy Spirit were in the course of childhood.  I don’t have any cut and dried answers as of now, but I do know they were with me and they hurt with me.  I don’t have any strong emotional connections with this as of yet, but I look forward to this part of healing as I move forward in this arena.

This weekend of Hope for Hurting People is needing continuous prayer.  Last night one person talked to me overly discouraged.  I know this is another attack of Satan on her specifically.  As I awoke in the middle of the night I was lamenting some of the concerns she said to me but I eventually began to thank God for what He is going to do in spite of any spiritual attacks.  God is ultimately in charge of this.  This is being done to glorify God and show man that even in our crisis, God is right there with us and has tools to help us unravel the ugliest parts of our past and present.  These do not need to foretell our future.  Please pray with me during this week. God is going to be glorified!