It is an odd thing to be focused on “being”.  Without specific things to do while being here with my daughter and her family I find myself journaling about being willing, being open minded, being helpful, etc.  I don’t think I’ve ever caught the word “being” which is in front of the potential doing side of life.  Yesterday while we were at the zoo with our grandkids, I was called by my son-in-law’s dad.  He is a pastor in Tulsa.  He asked if I’d come in June for Father’s Day weekend to speak to their men?  I was taken back by the request but yet it is something directly tied to “being willing”.  This morning I am meeting with a friend of my daughter’s family who had a very abusive childhood.  I met with her a couple years ago and we will do so again.  So this morning I pray to “be” a good listener and “be” a responder to The Holy Spirit’s nudges rather than my own.

It is amazing to realize that doing any of this for God’s purposes doesn’t make me anything different as I’d always wanted it to do.  It was so ingrained in my head that if I did this or that well enough and long enough I’d become the man of God I hoped would please God enough so He’d take away the guilt and shame I had lived with so long.  I know now to use my story of guilt and shame to help others address their own.  God wanted me to “be willing” to share and to “be obedient” to His nudges.  The most wonderful and thoughtful part of this is I find myself realizing I am a child of the King and have been all along.  Satan hasn’t wanted me to know this so I’d be kept in the same bondage that kept me silent for most of my life.  God is definitely shattering these shackles.  I humbly thank Him.