God is bringing to the surface of my life some critical things which I’ve never seen before like I do today. Now that I truly believe I am a new creation as a result of Christ’s work at the Cross, I can see things I’ve avoided before. These are things like: I sin daily with selfishness. There are those moments when I feel nudged to say or do something which I try to rationalize myself to not address. God showed me one this morning. When I was reading my devotional the message hit home for one of the men in our step study. I heard God’s nudge to take a picture of it and forward it to this young man. I tried to rationalize out of doing so, but I finally did it. These acts of obedience are always important. I’ve never felt this to be so true as I do today.
Now that I no longer see my past as my current “sin state” I can hear God more clearly and I want to obey Him more solidly. I’ve always had a first excuse which sounded like this: “I can’t do that, I’m a person who was used and they know it!” This lie doesn’t stop me like it use to. However, I still have thoughts which are now more selfish which try to stop me. Now they are more about my reputation. What if they think this is stupid? What if they don’t want me interfering with their personal lives?
This morning I confessed my pride and selfishness to God and asked Him to forgive me for it. I’m sure I’ll need to do this often, but now I see this more clearly. My past is my past. My present is where I want to live and stay daily in touch with God being obedient to His nudges.