My present experiences of reading Romans and now I Corinthians are leaving me with a deeper reality of man and flesh. In Romans Paul writes a great deal about the struggles of man with human/flesh desires and turning them over to Jesus so we can be fully committed to Him. Paul then begins to write in Corinthians about living out the christian life. He points out so many actions of the Christians which are selfish or ungodly. He leads into what I’ve written about in the last two days regarding gifts and the use of the gifts in love. I write this because in reading it this time I sense God wanting me to see these as real guidelines. Yesterday I wrote how God’s Word is Light and Life. I am seeing these books this way. I’m also seeing how mixed up I have been with human flesh and defects of thinking blocking so much of what God has wanted me to know about living for Him and relying on Him rather than on my own understanding.
One other thing is becoming clearer to me–I’m likely to not ever complete this assignment of living for Jesus as perfectly as I’d wish. I’ve always wanted to be free of flesh and its disgusting desires. I always saw these desires through the lens of abuse. Now I see the ways of man as a genuine flaw in our nature–it’s called selfishness. Selfishness coupled with choice will always bring about a struggle when God wants us to choose to live by His Spirit’s leading. Seeing this more fully today clarifies for me that I can’t be perfect, but I can be committed. So, committed I will stay!