Several times during Christ’s years with his disciples he told them of his need to leave the earth so that His Gift–The Holy Spirit, could then be directly with them–in them. As the book of John ends and the book of Acts begins the disciples are told to wait for the baptism of The Holy Spirit (Acts 1:5). By now the disciples are convinced that Christ’s purpose on earth is not for political leadership but for spiritual leadership. The Holy Spirit within them is this leadership while here on earth.

For years and years I have wanted to know with assurance that The Holy Spirit lived within me. I couldn’t fathom that He did because my body was too polluted from sins done to it and sins I had committed. Yes, the sins I’d committed I knew were forgiven, but the sins done to me were someplace within me where my confessions didn’t touch. Their roots were deeper than my prayers. Little did I understand that these sins were mine to grieve and surrender. Yes, the roots were deep, but these roots, if I allowed The Holy Spirit to use them, were reminders for me how I never wanted to live my own life. The Holy Spirit wanted to show me how to actually live life for my Heavenly Father rather than for my own selfish gratification.

As I grow in my surrender each day to The Holy Spirit’s leadership in my life, I am having to unlearn so many decision making tools I’ve used. To listen and respond to this gentle but solid Voice is something I must do with trust and faith. This is an area of living I want to grow and grow into the rest of my life.

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