The most remarkable thing happened last night at Celebrate Recovery. Each year at this time we celebrate Christmas by doing a blessings night. Over the years we have taken scriptures and personalized them to the attendees. We take the scripture, typing them out leaving a space for the recipient’s name to be spoken in the reading of the blessing. This is done one at a time with ladies blessing ladies and men the same for men. It is always a most touching evening. My own blessing read to me was from Galatians 5:13. This is what was read to me: “For Earnie was called to freedom. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” I just choked up when this was read to me.
This morning my devotional was titled, Him Through You. The message was that we can’t live the Christian life on our own and we should never think we are doing Christ’s Kingdom work on our own. This work is only done when Christ is doing it through us. His Strength becomes our own for we were never meant to live out God’s ministry work on our strength.
This devotional ends with this message: “Friend, God has chosen you for the service before you so He can shine His power through you–so that when the work is accomplished, people wont’ look to you, they will look to Him. So do not despair about your inadequacies; rather, submit to Him and rejoice that His glory shines through you.”
All of this just brought me to tears as I reflected on last night’s blessing and today’s devotional message. What an honor to get to serve God in this capacity. I’m so glad this journey does continue!
Jesus is my firm foundation. This statement use to be something I’d know and even believe. This was particularly true when I work with others for my belief was firm that Jesus always would stand in the gap for them. They could put every ounce of their trust in Him. Then, something would take place for me, temptations would hit and I’d feel helpless with them. I’d dig my way out of them, but would wonder why Jesus wouldn’t do for me what He does for others?
What I wrote about yesterday was a huge piece for me to awaken to as I described in the post. Little did I realize that I had this self-protection mode still going on in me. It was such a natural response of mine I never put any thought into the fact that it was selfish/self-protection. God pointed out to me that this “self-protection place” I’d go to in my mind was a stumbling block (in Celebrate Recovery it’s called a hang-up, character defect or thinking error). If I felt threatened in someone’s presence, temptations would hit reminding me of past triggers, etc., I’d go to this place and rationalize myself out of it–or attempt to do this. It was an area of lacking trust in God that I needed to relinquish to Him. Now that this is done I have a sense of new cleansing–deeper, more pure trust.
There may be other things which God will point out in my future days/years, but for now I don’t sense “phobias” about stepping into situations which in the past I’d deal with, but would do so with gritted teeth. It is truly a new depth of trust I needed to find. Thank you Jesus!
This mornings devotional time brought me to a place I’ve needed to see. It was a place I’ve protected all of my life–a place no abuse could reach, no criticism could touch AND no salvation could cleanse until I was willing to have “the veil rent in two”. To be honest with you, I didn’t even know I was protecting it until I was in the midst of my journaling while I worshiped Jesus. I was surrendering myself for the day when I was enlightened to this place of my inner being. This was the place I’d go to when my dad would make me confess for something I hadn’t done, when I was criticized for not being what I needed to be or not good enough; when I’d wonder why I as a male was an attraction to another male. In this place I could be ok with being me.
This morning I was allowed to see that this protection was no longer needed. In fact, this part of me was a hindrance to God’s Work in me. I would still want to protect the selfish part of me that just wanted to do what I wanted and no one else could make me do otherwise. Jesus allowed me to see that The Holy Spirit has been waiting to take control of this inner me so I could then be totally committed/surrendered to Him and His Purposes.
This experience showed me an area of TRUST I still needed. God would never take me into a place of shame. Instead, He’s wanted me to see just how trustworthy He truly is. As I write this I rejoice in this truth and confidence. God is WORTHY of our TRUST!
There is something I’m becoming very awake to as I am beginning each of my devotional times with a couple of worship songs. They awaken my spirit to God’s Holy Spirit and I desire fully for Him to be my spirit this day as I surrender to Him. With my spirit fully committed I find new meaning to the first piece of armor God provides for us as told in Ephesians 6:14–the belt of truth. In my flesh I want to rationalize all that I do. If a selfish act is being desired, I want to put brackets around it and say that it wasn’t hurting anyone and no one even needs to know about it. It is just for me. Well, when I am surrendered fully to God’s Holy Spirit in me, all I can do is admit the truth. It just doesn’t matter what the action is, if it is selfishly committed and I have to look away from God’s nudge within me, it is sin.
Romans 14:23b says, “…and everything that does not come from faith is sin.” The preface to this statement from Paul is stating so much about how we treat others. His closing statement in this chapter is the quote. God wants us to live by faith in His Son and His Son’s Gift of The Holy Spirit to us when we accept Him into our lives. We cannot continue to live by flesh’s desires rather than living by the faith that whatever temptation comes our way, God’s promise to “provide a way of escape” (I Corinthians 10:13) is ours. The belt of truth helps us to know this for the verse in Ephesians 6:14 starts by saying, “Stand your ground….”. When we put faith to work in our lives we can stand our ground for we are doing so in the strength of The Holy Spirit rather than the futile strength of our flesh.
For so long I’ve known all of this. Putting it together each day as I “worship” God is taking what I have known and allowing it to become my daily experience.
It seems my journey has brought me face to face with something I’ve never intentionally faced before now–flesh vs spirit. We always have both, but which one is going to dominate? Our flesh houses our spirit and it was created to do so. Our mind, I’m rather certain, was the control center for our flesh to do its functional work keeping the home of our spirit healthy. Then came sin.
This focus for me on starting my devotional time with genuine worship that awakens me to my spirit yielding entirely to God’s Holy Spirit within is simply amazing. I find myself not wanting to end it for the transformation is a place where God is so present that all I want to do is remain, rejoice, fall on my knees, and so much more! I asked God this morning what He feels like when all of the world is basking in His Presence? I seemed to just catch a smile.
God is so AMAZING and so beyond what our words can express. His Love is His Grace and from His Grace we are given His Mercy. What more could a child want from his Heavenly DAD!
As our small group of men met yesterday morning we began a lesson which needs to be done in two sessions. It was just too deep and too much to complete in one session. The topic is bringing the importance of worship into one’s worship and warfare praying. This very topic is what I have truly never understood until I started experiencing it. Starting my devotional time with worship (songs of praise and thanksgiving that quiet my flesh and allows my spirit to be overtaken by God’s Holy Spirit) has awakened me to a reverence I’ve only known once in a while through my lifetime. I’m now beginning to see my need for this worship each and every day. Being in spirit while I read God’s Word allows HIs Holy Spirit to bring meaning to the Word I’ve missed so many, many times. What is even more humbling to me is the tender, intense solidity of God’s Spirit’s grounding. As I pray I don’t need to pray in fleshly hope, but in the hope of assurance God IS in control of every aspect of life–not just for me, but for everyone for which I pray.
I hate to confess this, but I need too. As much as I love music, I even more so love quiet. Starting my devotional time with a worship song/chorus seemed invasive and I wouldn’t do this at first. Lately I’ve taken the step to do what the assignment said rather than avoid it. This simple step of obedience has been overwhelmingly insightful. In so doing I now know what entering into genuine worship during my devotional time does. It transforms this time into much richer meaning and confidence for what God wants me to know from Him. This carries into my day even when my flesh wants to control a portion of the day.
God keeps growing within me what I am to understand about living the new life given to each of us when we accept Christ into our lives. As I write this I want any reader to know that I asked Christ into my heart when I was 10 or 11 years old. Yet, after 60+ years I am still learning how to live this new life rather than continuing to attempt living in my flesh thinking that’s what I’m to do.
The idea of entering into a frame of worship as I begin my devotions shouldn’t be new to me. Yet, in reality it is. I journal, but I tend to journal out of my emotions and thoughts. As I’m beginning to sing worshipful songs or listen to them as I journal, I have a very different experience. I seem to shift from emotions to spirit. I can only say that much for this experience is quite new to me. Instead of journaling concerns/anxiety, I journal the issue and sense an assurance that it will be ok. I’m not the one who needs to deal with it. If I am to deal with it I am confident I can do it with The Holy Spirit’s presence within.
As I was pondering all of this earlier this morning I realized that coming into my devotional time today is more like a little child entering the room where dad/mom/grandma or grandpa is. They run to them and climb onto their lap as they snuggle together. That same innocent confidence in whose arms the child lies is how I feel coming into God’s Presence when I do so in worship.
I have had moments, such as I’ve written, but never have I had these moments daily. I’ve lived a long time to finally awaken to just how much God wants us snuggled in His Lap! What a gracious and loving Father He Is!
Last night I taught the lesson entitled TURN for our Celebrate Recovery group. It is lesson 5 and the TURN is 2-fold. First, we are to turn our lives over to Jesus asking Him into our hearts. At this point, Jesus becomes our Savior. The second part of TURN is turning our will over to Jesus and letting His Holy Spirit have His Way with us. This is when He become Lord.
Even though I struggled immensely over the years about Jesus living in my heart, I could wrap my mind around this truth for all I had to do is ask Him to come into my heart. This second part has been the much more difficult one. I understand surrendering my will to Jesus each day. But staying in that surrendered place all day has always seemed next to impossible. Only of late have I begun to better understand that in our flesh we cannot stay surrendered for in our flesh we are too susceptible to Satan’s deceptive attacks. I’m starting to better understand that in God’s Spirit we are victors because God’s Holy Spirit lives within us and Satan has no power over Him. Christ won this battle for us at the Cross.
As my journey continues I am learning what letting go and completely surrendering each day is like. I’m not fully there yet, but I am fully committed to this race as Paul calls it in God’s Word. What is wonderful is that the outcome will someday be heaven eternally. For today, this very moment, there is PEACE within me. The battle is not mine to fight. The battle is won and each day’s battles will be won as I start each day worshiping my Precious Savior and Lord surrendering as I worship knowing the battle is not mine. Satan’s deception wants me to believe my flesh, but God’s Holy Spirit has the real message–“”Satan, you have no power over Earnie for he has surrendered his spirit to Me this day and now you must flee.” THis is not true just for me, but it is true for each one of us as we daily surrender to our Savior and Lord and rely on The Holy Spirit to be our Sword of The Spirit.
There is a beautiful awakening God has for each one of us as we start to grow in our new life given to us. This new life is entirely consumed with our understanding of Spirit-living rather than flesh-living. Romans 6-8 defines this extremely well. I’ve read these chapters endlessly over the years. Much of all three chapters are underlined and underlined again for their significance. However, when I read them before I did so for the sake of knowing and then wondered how this could be true for me? I’d pray that God would make what is written real for me.
This morning as I asked Jesus what He wanted me to know from Him for today, as I was ending my journal writing, His response was to praise Him and His Holy Spirit for what they are doing which I can see and experience. Then, continue to praise Them for what they will be doing and are doing that I know nothing about but TRUST They are doing.
As I began reading again the three chapters of Romans I quit trying to wrap my mind around the message and simply asked God’s Spirit to speak. This time as I read the words I quit attempting flesh understanding of this message for the message tells how Spirit is at work and all of what these chapters say is about God’s Spirit through Christ and His Holy Spirit paving our way to HIs GLORIOUS FREEDOM. I can never be anchored in my flesh for it is sin based. My spirit however is Christ-based and my anchor is found there so letting my surrendered spirit to Jesus be the center of my new life is my anchor. PRAISE BE TO GOD OUR FATHER!
My awakening to the significance of spirit is completely consuming. I can’t get away from it and I don’t want to get away from it. This reality of our own spirit given to us now surrendered to God’s Holy Spirit which is also within is no longer a concept to have with little understanding; it is a genuine reality I can see within me and I can truly rejoice because of it.
There is a gentleman who has been coming for a few months now. When he first started he wanted to overcome a “somewhat addiction” to alcohol and to grow in his walk with God. At the time of his arrival I simply asked if he would be ok working on his walk with God and to see if this walk would possibly take care of his “somewhat addiction”? This has been working. So, yesterday when he came he was attempting to tell me about an experience he’d had during a devotional time just a few days back. As he was describing it and unable to put words to its significance, I asked if this experience was with his spirit? He said an emphatic YES!
It is very easy to put words to our flesh since we live very awake in it 24/7. Even though we have our own spirit 24/7 we rarely are in tune to it, so putting words to it seems tough. I use the idea that things of the spirit are better explained as an experience rather than something to know. Once you’ve experienced something it stays with you. Knowing something might stay in our mind someplace, but recalling it becomes dim quickly.
Oh how I want to grow in God’s Spirit within me letting Him better consume me 24/7 replacing this dying flesh of mine. There is always something new about God’s Great GIFT to us that we can benefit from experiencing once we are awake to His Presence in us. I want to stay very much awake!
Earnie Lewis 