Have you ever had a day when everything got done but the means of it getting done were nothing like the way you had planned?  Well, yesterday was pretty much that way.  After taking Kathy to the airport I came home and had my devotions and wrote the blog entry.  God had specifically told me He wanted me to be a good steward of His attitude as I went about completing my work of the day.  This started with my youngest daughter.  Our meeting began as a typical Earnie and Angie conversation.  In the midst of our battling I was reminded of God’s message to reflect His attitude.  I attempted to do this and the atmosphere suddenly changed to understanding and acceptance.  We made a good agreement and went forward.  When I got home from her place I called my daughter in Oklahoma.  It was amazing to hear that God is working on her in the same way He is working on me.  Doing God’s work and representing His Ways as we do it are certainly no minor endeavor.  My attitude and emotions get in the way all the time.  I know now better than ever how much work (surrender) I need to do in this arena.

It was fun to begin the work with the new school yesterday.  The principal is one whom I hired 30 years ago right out of college to be a 4th grade teacher at my school.  Now she has completed her doctorate and is a principal herself.  Having not done this type of consulting for a few years I found myself needing to reawaken some strategies I hadn’t used for a while.  It also awakened a demon of laziness I’ve always fought–detail.  I truly enjoy building a big picture for the work but putting it into day to day tasks I like to leave for the others.  However, in this work I need to step into it just as I had done living this work out myself day to day.  So, as I was talking to God about it this morning I felt His nudge to “do the work like Him not like me, just as He’d told me yesterday.  Today I meet the 2nd principal and her school.  I don’t know her at all.  I’ll try and be more reflective of my BOSS as I do this.

God is such an amazing God.  I say this often and I truly mean it.  To God be all Glory–great things He has done and great things He wants to do with us if we only Trust and OBEY.

This past weekend was a blur of fun, laughter, tears, hugs, prayer and watching God work in so many ways.  I didn’t blog as you know due to the lack of private time and space.  However, this did not in any way impede God’s ability to work and use the time wisely for His Kingdom work.  The friends we were visiting started their restorative talks and plan.  God is always at work and how much I praise Him for this.  It was a time of participating in God’s work when everyone was ripe for the harvest.

We got home just in time to leave quickly for two of our grandkids’ birthday parties.  This too were fun.  By the time we got home last night I was exhausted and, knowing I had to be up by 5:00 am to get Kathy to the airport, I needed to go to bed.  However, there was still one more unexpected assignment.  A lady I admire and respect wanted to talk so we talked through a very tough time she’s experiencing presently.  God is showing her some bondage that needs to be addressed and released.  It was actually nice to talk this through with her as she has had much of the same therapy as I so I could reawaken for her steps that I still use each day to keep me in touch with God’s voice and leadership in my life.

Today now has much in it.  I start the work in the two new schools where I’m consulting.  My youngest daughter wants to talk through a business loan and more.  I keep being reminded to take all of this in stride for God is in charge.  In fact, this morning I was reminded by Him that He not only wants me doing His Kingdom Work, but as I step into it  this day He wants it to look like Him and not me.  If my attitude isn’t tuned into His Ways, I will only reflect me.  When I’m working with my own kids it is not always easy to keep my attitude in check.  However, I want to be a good steward of God’s attitude towards us.  So, here we go.  God is such a loving, kind and caring God.  I love receiving His love and giving it.

Today Kathy and I go on a weekend trip with another couple visiting friends in another state.  These are very close friends we are going to see so I know the time will be filled with fun and laughter.  However, there is an overriding sense of heaviness which supersedes all the other feelings.  That heaviness is weight of bondage.  Our trip is primarily to give support where it is needed.  These friends had found freedom from their hurts, hang-ups and habits while living here.  After their move the old temptations began to return.  Support is thin where they live and reaching out is not happening except to those here.  So, in some way, I feel like we are on assignment today and through the weekend.  I don’t have a plan except to listen closely to God’s Holy Spirit within and respond accordingly.

Yesterday was spent reactivating the consulting work I haven’t done for a few years.  I spent the day with the two principals I’ll work with in their schools as well as with their superintendent.  I felt as though we can make some great progress as we move forward.  It will be a good team.

Many months ago I thought I needed to pull completely away from this consulting work but God helped me understand that my pulling away was more about what I thought I was to do for Him rather than what He wanted me doing for Him.  Now that this is clear, I feel free.  The bondage of completing a task for God hoping I’m doing it well for Him is replaced with the inspiration to complete the work with Him.  God never ceases to be AMAZING.

The journey of following Christ’s leadership in my life is confusing and troubling at times.  Last weekend’s event was very successful from the standpoint that people found help and already plans are moving forward to repeat this for a larger crowd.  The helpers brought in assisting with the sexual brokenness area seem to be paying a price for coming.  The director of Mid-Valley was sick in arriving and my brother in law went home to find a blood clot in his lung.  As I brought this to God this morning He seemed to remind me that man is human.  Anytime man is brought face to face with sin itself there is a fleshly consequence.  Sin destroys flesh but it cannot destroy what God has redeemed through Jesus Christ–that is our spirit and our soul.  This truth is troubling when I witness God’s disciples who are doing His Kingdom Work paying a human price,  but I wouldn’t change an iota of it knowing souls are finding God’s freedom from man’s obedience to God.  I want to keep my priorities straight.

How I love my Father God and how I want to serve Him well.  To God be all Glory!

The projects of yesterday are now finished.  Greenhouse shelves are done, yard mowed for the last (maybe) time, and garden is now fully cleaned and rototilled for the last time this season.  My whole body is talking to me this morning due to the physical side of yesterday from cement bags to digging post holes and the rest.  My brother in law who was here over the weekend said he’d never heard me complain about aches and pains as I’ve gotten older.  Well, he could if he were here today!

Last night’s class had some revelations all right about emotions.  I am not alone in this arena.  It seems most if not all men struggle with their and others emotions.  What are we to do with them?  Somehow it seems we are just to let them go unless the emotion is asking for something.  Strong emotions have been a struggle for me as I’ve said before.  However, I do believe God is helping me see them as an expression of passion.  Sometimes a person needs to simply get them out by speaking them or physically doing something.  I don’t need to step into this but just let them happen.  I can ask if there is anything one can do to help?  If the answer is no then I can let it go.

Last night’s class also bought out a quote from the author of the materials that created quite a bit of dialog.  It said:  ‘This is not an ‘us and them’ issue. (Speaking about those in church who struggle with an addiction)  This is an issue about people who have been redeemed by a gracious God.  The people caught in the gay lifestyle, the abortionist, the pornographer and the couple caught in adultery aren’t the enemy.  The enemy is the enemy.  And our call is to help as many people as we can to get his noose off their souls.”  This message is one our church and every church needs to wrestle with.  It is not OK for us to continue to keep the façade in place that “we are ok and simply coming to church to feed our spiritual hunger.”  There are so many people coming in hopes to find true accountability and genuine help.  The relationships we build in a church should give people the sense of safety that I can share my hurt, hang-up or habit and not be judged, but supported.  We have miles to go in this arena.  God is not giving up on His people and I know He is asking us to join Him here.

I got up early this morning unable to sleep again.  It seemed I needed to spend time with the lesson of 7-Pillars for tonight’s class.  Secondly, I’m reading the book:  Jesus The King by Timothy Keller.  The 7-Pillars lesson was the follow-up of last weeks on trauma.  The confusing part of it for me was the focus on anger.  I don’t know if I have a narrow view of anger thinking it is only like dad’s anger–abusive and explosive, or if I need to broaden my perspective.  The lesson went into how we deal with trauma:  anger, freezing, and fleeing.  However, the second part of this lesson seems only on anger.  Is there a connection between anger, freezing and fleeing?  I am looking forward to class tonight so I can get a clearer picture of this.  I don’t harbor anger that looks like my dad.  However, I have harbored much in my life that has caused me to freeze and go into isolation.  So, I know God will bring out what He wants me to grow through in this.

My greenhouse benches are hopefully being finished today–by me.  I now know why benches have a full top.  At least for me it is so one cannot see the support underneath!  The idea that the posts supporting the top need to be sturdy is solid.  I put each one in cement.  However, no one reminded me to make sure they are in a straight line.  I know this but ensuring the line is straight wasn’t riveted in my mind.  So, when I went to screw the 2×4 supports to the posts–well, it was hard to bend the boards enough to attach to the posts.  However, God’s gift is that people can’t see these once I get the top on.  I think sturdy is the primary outcome.

I had to write something about the greenhouse because I’m wanting to circumvent writing about emotions.  God is speaking to me a good deal about them and it makes me quite uncomfortable.  I know I actually have them and feel them deeply when I am passionately working on a project.  God is wanting me to see them as part of our relationship (His and mine) and my relationship with everyone around me.  In so doing, it is not about explosive anger or abusive anger.  I have much to learn and grow into as I ponder this and work through it.  God’s word tells us in Ephesians 4:26:  “In your anger do not sin….”  So, I’ll probably have to come back to this topic in future blogs.

Today, I’ll finish the fall readiness I blogged about yesterday.  I’ll then be ready to step into whatever is in store for tomorrow.  Today I will Give God the glory for the things He has done!

This morning as I got up and started into my devotional time I could not dispel the sense that I must get things done!  Winter is coming and I have lots of work to get things put away, cleaned, stored, and ready for the winter rest.  On the other hand, I had the sense that I need to get everyone involved in the recent conference, focused on their next steps so we profit all we can from what we learned.  Then, of course, I was quickly brought back to focus myself by that nudging reminder that I AM NOT IN CHARGE.  I am to respond to what God has given me to respond to.  The sense of urgency I always have about my own priorities is OK as long as the energy behind it is completing God’s timetable and not my own.  It starts with me sorting out with God what He is behind and what He isn’t yet ready to have done.  I’m always amazed how much God is intricately connected to all of my life if I only take the opportunity to stop, listen, communicate and listen more, and then obey.  Even this morning I felt God saying obedience looks like restraint on some projects while others need action now.  He is AMAZING.

In the middle of yesterday’s rest and regrouping from the weekend I had a couple calls regarding a man in crisis and a boy who needs help.  Two men are wanting to help the one in crisis and mom was wanting to know if I could meet with her son.  In all of this I couldn’t help but think how personal God becomes when we allow ourselves to be used by Him.  The two men helping the one are fairly new in their own recovery journey and now that they have a chance to reach into the life of one hurting, they were scared and nervous.  It was rewarding to simply remind them of the steps they’ve taken and help the one see his need to take his own.  God is so good at building His children to model Him and help them focus others on Him.  I love this about our Father!  He is worthy of all praise!

God is always right–does that surprise anyone?  What He’d told me yesterday about going into the morning with an open mind listening for His message rather than trying to get my hope for the message met, was exactly right.  The morning speakers were magnificent and completed the message we all needed to hear.  This was followed by workshops that were endlessly praised and thanked for the excellent materials and wisdom shared around their topics.  It was really good to hear folks that had put much time into this conference saying that they were wanting to begin work on having this again next year.  Not so many days ago the message was quite different.  God is so good at showing us what He does out of our obedience.

I came home from the conference wanting to get new recovery groups started today!  Of course I can’t because we have no structure for them or materials to support them.  As I was having my devotional time and talking to God about all of these next steps, He nicely reminded me to keep His timetable in place.  I only need to take the steps He has outlined at the moment.  That step was ordering a set of materials so I can see exactly what they are and how the teaching of them would need to look.  I’ll meet with the overseeing pastor sometime this next week about developing a plan for implementing these new groups.

We didn’t have very many folks showing up yesterday regarding their struggle with homosexuality or any sexual brokenness.  God reminded me this morning of His Work getting people to come out of their darkness into His Light.  If we get a door open with Light shining, people will start to come.  So, onward we go.  Praise God!

To God be All Glory!  As I was having my devotions this morning I read the small book of Joel.  It is doom with hope.  The doom is from the sins past and present and the hope is stated when we only turn from this sin back to the Father who wants so much to restore dignity to His Creation.  Last night started the Hope for Hurting People weekend event.  The speaker did a nice job stating his new message to people once God had brought him through the restoration needing to take place following his stepping into sin.

Today we have the workshops with the guest presenters.  I am eager to experience God at work today with them.  Last night I started to have feelings of disappointment about the message I was hearing.  It didn’t contain the depth of restoration I was wanting to be brought into the open.  This morning God quickly reminded me that the messages of last night and today are His messages given to these presenters.  I need to listen for God’s message through them, not the message I as man is expecting to hear.  That really set me straight!  I don’t want to set the expectations for today, I want the expectations for today to be God given and God presented.  So, today I go into the conference with open eyes, open ears and an open mind to receive all that God has in store.  To God be All Glory!

How amazing our God is when we only open our eyes to see Him, open our ears to hear Him and open ourselves to obey Him.  Last night our quartet with a larger group sang for a church in Boise.  It was a good event and it seemed God blessed them and He was blessed.  At the end of the evening a lady came up to me and shared with me about her increased intimacy with God.  Last June our quartet sang for this same group.  I was asked to share my story with them along with my book.  As I was talking about my journey with God I said I had been impressed to begin journaling to God.  In so doing God has been showing me what a loving, caring, devoted Father He truly is.  So, this lady last night began to share how she’d begun to journal to God and listen to Him respond to her.  She was finding this same truth about God as her Father just as I have been finding. She had done this because of my sharing with them.  I was so touched to know God is using our story for His Glory.  He is so intimate when we open ourselves up to complete the work He gives us.

Tonight begins our weekend focused on Help for Hurting People.  Satan is doing his best to destroy.  I know this just from my own tormenting times this week connecting to it.  I just finished talking about this with my brother-in-law.  It was good to take the anxiety of these attacks and talk them out.  I can easily see the Light of Heaven shining down.  I don’t want to put myself in the front of this.  I truly want to be an obedient servant of God completing what He wants done from me.  The team that God has brought to the weekend is complete.  I know God is nudging folks to step out of their “protective bubble” and risk coming tonight and tomorrow.  There is love, support and help available as I’ve found to be so true once I began to step out of what I thought was my protective bubble.

God is waiting to be known for each of us as our God the Father, Jesus as Savior and Lord, and Holy Spirit indwelling us.  In all of this He gives us new live as He has made us a new creation.  This new creation is not new to Him.  For the new creation is taking us on the journey to wholeness so we can be more like Him.  To God be all Glory!