I’m late getting my post entered this morning. I kept thinking the site was down from the messages I was getting on the computer screen. I would check back every few minutes thinking it would be back up, but it wasn’t. Finally I checked to see if my wifi was working only to find that it wasn’t. Well, all is good now so I can get going.

There is a young man who comes for help who is struggling with a broken heart. He and another young man are working through the book, Voice of the Heart. This young man’s hurt reminds me of my broken heart going through my divorce so many years ago. Last night I realized from listening to him that there is nothing I can do to quicken his grieving. I need to let this run its course and being there with him, listening to him without advice, just an empathic ear is most important. I was recalling all of the “help” ones were trying to offer me which never helped. It only made me want to distance myself from them.

We are all wired differently and our recovery from hurts needs to run its course. God, I know, is with us during this time. But, when one is in the hurting part, it is often difficult to hear this message and believe it. God’s faithfulness will show itself when the recipient is ready. I hurt for him, but I also know I just need to let him grieve. God has this!

More and more I’m seeing couples coming for counsel. There are some who come individually and then it leads to the spouse accompanying them. I’ve always “known” that one of Satan’s primary focus is marriage. God created man and woman for one another. Of course Satan wants to destroy what God created. There is an immense amount of evidence all around us of Satan’s destructive lies. However, when I see this in the counseling room I begin to do more than know Satan’s attacks–I experience them and hear them from those hurting.

Several months ago I had a lady come for help. It turned out she and her husband have been married for over 30 years. She finally had enough of his belittling remarks and wanted help. She was being hurt, but she was timid about letting her husband know how much his talk hurt her. It took many weeks for her to finally see she had a part in this hurt. She needed to see her own responsibility. Well, as only God would have it, her husband came by himself yesterday. It was a very healthy session where he, on his own, saw and spoke his problem/need. Both are christians serving God in their own way, but not doing so in the home.

It is a joy to see God’s Light penetrate darkness putting a sword to Satan’s selfishness he wants each of us to proclaim whether we see it or not. God is amazingly GOOD!

Monday mornings are my prep time for the counseling sessions through the week. I don’t do any counseling on that day and so I can do this without any sense of rush. Yesterday was a work day at our church which my younger brother was going to do. He asked me to help out last week and I reluctantly said I would knowing full well I needed the morning. I awoke quite early yesterday and did some of the prep work ahead of going to the church. I had told God I would do this for Him and hoped He’d make it a blessing somehow. Well, just as God does, He made it a big blessing. I got to work with a young man I’ve prayed for for years. He has completely turned his life around this past year and is serving God joyously. I’ve known him since his birth and it was so wonderful to get the chance to just be with him and hear his joy.

There were so many volunteers that came we were done in 1.5 hours. I got home and finished my prep work and then got the afternoon yard work done. I love how God turns my dread into His blessings. Yesterday as I was working with this young man I thanked God. Today I needed to apologize for my sour attitude. God took my lemon and turned it into sweet orange juice!

Have you ever had a day of blessings? Yesterday was one of those days. The sermon heard at church was an outstanding one recognizing David’s assurance of God and his confidence in God using him. We were asked if we had this confidence in God that David had? All I could think was what my confidence use to be like compared to today. I use to have great confidence in God using others. I just thought God didn’t care much for me so my focus was never to light on myself for that hurt too much.

I began to find my confidence when I began to find God in every aspect of my past. But, as I write this I’m awakened to something I’ve not addressed and that is the hurt of my dad’s words. The counseling/therapy focused on the sexual use of me and disallowing that to be my identity. So much of my belief about myself however was coupled with my dad’s destructive words of my value to him. I’ll have to spend a little more time with God on this one.

After getting home from church I went to see Lois, my prayer warrior. As we finished our conversation and I gave her a parting hug, she began to get teary which is not common for her. She told me how much I mean to her and how proud she is of me–her “other son”. I got all teary too! She said I know you struggle to believe your value, but it is there and God sees it. At 74 years old I felt for a moment like the little boy hearing dad’s ugly comments and now those ugly words were being overruled by this saint of God. What I do know for certain is how grateful I am for God never giving up on me and using all of this past of mine to help others today. GOD IS SO GOOD!

Today is a granddaughter’s birthday and two days ago was a grandson’s birthday. So, this afternoon we celebrate both of them. How fun it is to have the joy of grandkids!

There are many things going through my mind this morning to put into this entry. But, the most important one that keeps returning is the faithfulness of Jesus. My own personal struggle in life has been centered around the damages from abuse–sexual, physical and verbal. In this world of Celebrate Recovery and counseling one gets very well acquainted with a plethora of topics. The one thing we all have in common is our need to overcome and it is the same Overcomer we all need to seek–Jesus Christ! He is not only our Savior, we seek to have Him be our Lord. His faithfulness is with us throughout our struggles and in our victories and He is steadfast no matter how rocky our behaviors are.

Today I worship this Savior and Lord who never leaves us!

Today the righteousness of Jesus is standing out in my mind. I’m reading through the book of Mark right now and Jesus was being challenged by the Jewish leadership at the time. In every situation he baffled them with his answers and responses. As I take the time to let the scripture I’m reading sink into my own life and apply it to me, I can’t help but marvel at this Savior of ours who today is just as real as He was when He was while He was in the flesh here on earth. The immensity of His love as I try to comprehend His omnipotent presence is simply overwhelming. My sins are not even known to my Father because of Jesus.

Good grief, “How can I keep from singing Your praise. How can I ever say enough, how AMAZING IS YOUR LOVE, How can I keep from shouting your Name. I know I am loved by the King and it makes my heart want to sing!”

As I was journaling this morning I asked Jesus what I could do for a young, discouraged man in our Celebrate Recovery group? My heart hurts for him each and every time I’m with him. He’s had several discouraging events in his life which he has not been able to work through at this point in time. Only minutes later I was looking for an item at my desk. In so doing I came across a card I was given 14 years ago by a friend. I was in the midst of my counseling/therapy at this time and deeply troubled by all I was needing to address from the hurts of my past. This card said: “In the dark of the cocoon, the butterfly finds its wings. Even now, hope is fluttering softly in some quiet corner of your life. Not long from now, it will open wide into sunlight, taking wing, touching the sky.” It was after reading this I knew what Jesus wanted me to send to this young man and I thanked Him for this message given to me in the midst of my despair.

The Grace and Mercy of Jesus just never stops revealing itself. How I love Him for this!

Almost every day I could write about something from a counseling session where God showed Himself significantly. Yesterday, however, was a day where God not only showed Himself, but this took place in every session. Wednesday is my fullest day. It goes continuously from 12 noon until 8:30 pm. The last 1.5 hours is a step study for our Celebrate Recovery men. One of the guys I counsel earlier in the day stated he would probably benefit from going through a step study again. He did this a couple of years ago but he only became more awake to what troubled him without addressing the issues. Now after this much time he is ready to seek God’s Help and overcome the issues. Well, he came back for the step study and we walked out together at the end. His statement to me was, “Well, I think this is what I’m suppose to do. This group of men I already like and I’ll really benefit from going through the study this time.”

I could write several instances of God’s presence yesterday, but what I want to celebrate is God’s tender mercy and His timing. How much He loves His kids and steps in when He knows they’re ready to take another step in HIs direction of trusting Him. It is so rewarding to get to witness this!

I had a troubling text message early this morning as I had gotten up for which I only replied, “What happened?” As I had begun my journaling my phone rang and it was the one who had sent the text. We talked regarding the issue at hand and then the call ended. As I began to continue journaling I wrote, “Jesus, how do you handle all of this? It breaks my heart. You have billions of kids all over the world.” The response I heard was amazing. I heard that inner voice simply say, “It gives me great pleasure when you or any of my kids step away from their tempting moments and honor Me instead.”

Only Jesus would bring my mind back around to what pleases Him rather than dwelling on what saddens me. He is so much more than this earthly mind of mine can comprehend. But, what I do comprehend is ample enough that I want to serve Him well. I don’t want any longer to be part of anything that breaks His Heart. Instead, I want to be what pleases Him.

Forty-two years ago at 6:00 pm tonight, Kathy and I were married. For Kathy, it was her first step into a marriage. For me, it was my attempt to do it right this second time. Little did I know what a gift God was giving me in Kathy. She is the person I could trust with what I thought was the most horrible things, and yet she never left. She saw through all of it and gave me grace just as Christ was trying to do, but I needed to see it in Kathy before I could ever see grace from Jesus. I needed help and she was the one who saw the need and encouraged me until I sought it. Not once has she ever condemned me as I had done to myself for most of my life. Just as honorable as her love and grace, is her mothering. My older two daughters have always said that Kathy is the one who taught them what a mother is suppose to be like. This is a huge compliment for all three of our daughters are great moms today due to Kathy’s modeling.

Of all the gifts I’ve received in life, Kathy tops the list. In the midst of a very troubled man’s younger years, God gave me Kathy so I could begin to know who God truly is (as modeled by Kathy) and what His characteristics are. I will forever thank God for His Gifts to me: Jesus, God’s Holy Spirit, and then Kathy!

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