Today is my youngest daughter’s birthday.  She is 31.  I was 36 when Kathy and I adopted her.  Kathy hadn’t been able to conceive once we had married and we chose to go the route of adoption rather than doing all the fertility steps.  My journey then was being a father to my two daughters: Amy and Amber and now we would have Angie.  31 years later my journey has brought 11 grandkids into the picture and one more that will be born in a couple weeks.  I had so many things in my life that were haunting me 31 years ago.  Today these haunts are stories I tell.

Everyday I pray that my kids and grandkids will know God’s freedom as I do today.  What I’ve had to learn over the years is that each one of them has to find this freedom for themselves.  Dad or grandpa can’t do it for them–as much as I wish I could spare them the cost.  What I do know is that my relationship with each one of my kids and grandkids has an impact on how they want to live.  Keeping intimacy strong is always important.  I’m learning so much more about this as my own intimacy grows between God and me.

Yesterday hit as a steamroller.  That is not a bad thing, just that every project I’m working with has immediate needs which involve time and effort.  One of them is also very emotionally needy so it is far more about keeping myself on track with the work separating the drama of emotions others carry right on the surface.  I’m also beginning to see that sometimes the God-sized Work He does is the change in a person. In my past when I dealt with a emotionally driven person I would spend much time trying to “convince” them there are other ways of dealing with problems than simply yelling at it, pouting about it, becoming bitter, etc.  All I would usually do is get myself caught in their emotional trap.  God is showing me that He is the One who changes lives and when He does it, it sticks.  The message is something like this:  “Let it go Earnie.”

Last night at Celebrate Recovery was chip night.  This is when folks working on some area of sobriety or changed life, they get a chip for each level of accomplishment from 30 days all the way to 35 years.  Two months ago I took a starting chip for working on being a “new creation”.  I didn’t set solid criteria determining what qualified me living it.  Thus, I haven’t taken a 30 day or 60 day chip.  However, it hit me last night the solid criteria I need to set.  The testimony we had spoke of trying to do this change on our own.  I know better than this but I don’t act like I do much of the time.  God nudged me to take the step of setting the criteria for my living as a new creation.  The action I’d take is to call or text an accountability person at the point when I am tempted to falter.  This is what a new creation does.  This is not new but the action would sure be new for me.  I tend to reach out sometimes and other times I reach out after I’ve fought temptation for a while.  If God is going to fight the battle which He says is His anyway, I’ve got to let it go.  The only way I let it go is to surrender it by telling someone that I’m struggling.  My pride stands in the way thinking I’m weak.  Yet, I know I will be strong when I tell.  So, this is my new commitment for stepping into living the life of a new creation.  Anyone ready to join me?

This morning I couldn’t help but take a minute and enjoy the fact it is morning.  I do love the early start of each and every day.  As I was taking a moment to thank God for mornings I hit upon a reason that hadn’t occurred to me.  Mornings are fresh and sometimes crisp when we get past summer.  What occurred to me was that the freshness of mornings also patterns the freshness God gives us with each new day.  Through Jesus Christ the newness is already given to us.  We never have to earn it we just have to receive it by accepting Christ into our heart and lives.

Yesterday brought together all my kids and grandkids living locally.  It has been over 3 years since this has happened.  During those 3 years much has taken place that God has been working to heal and restore.  I know He isn’t done with His work, but it was so good to have everyone together and enjoying one another.  To hear the laughter of grandkids playing in the pool, chasing one another in the yard, showing empathy when an injury happens makes a grandpa’s heart happy.

Yesterday we celebrated freedom.  Today we live it.  In fact we can’t celebrate something that we haven’t lived.  This is physically true and spiritually true.  As my journey continues each day I am becoming more and more steadfast in wanting to live abundantly free in my spiritual life.  I fought to earn my freedom with God–hoping He’d love me eventually and I’d be good enough for His love.  Finally, little by little, I’ve learned that my efforts were futile.  It was Christ’s efforts on the cross that earned me my spiritual freedom.  I just needed to accept it as such.  I’m sure not done having this awareness permeate all of my living and thinking, but I do know I’m on the right tract now.  My journey now is that of an “heir,”  not from the side of “error”.  I’m on purpose and so are you.  We are free indeed!

“If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed!” John 8:36.  The freedom our country celebrates today is national freedom.  Do we remember what the freedom was from?  Our forefathers fought for religious freedom as well as taxation freedom.  We were not going to be a country flying another country’s flag.  We stood for a freedom that had not been recognized in the old country.

Today, I celebrate two freedoms which have similarities, but are very different.  The one freedom is what July 4th is all about:  our national freedom from the bondage of ownership by England.  I am not a historian by any means, but I do know our country wanted to proclaim itself free to be and do as its leaders decided–not what our leaders wanted and then OK’d by another set of leaders.  We paid a steep price for this liberty.  The second freedom I celebrate is one that cost me nothing.  God had His Own Son Jesus pay the price that I could never pay no matter how good of a fighter I might be.  This freedom humbles me and brings me to my knees in gratitude and tears of thanksgiving.

The spiritual freedom our forefathers fought to obtain will only be maintained if we don’t lose sight of its ongoing importance in keeping our other freedoms.  God is our One and only King, Ruler, Guide and Intimate Friend.  Yet, if we let our country lose sight of this, we cannot maintain the other rights to freedom.  Man cannot forget that even though man fought for this freedom, the greater battle was one known as a spiritual one–Jesus Christ fought this one for us and WON.

Lets wave our flags of freedom today but lets not forget to wave our thanksgiving to God our Father and Jesus Christ His Son.  The one freedom cannot maintain itself if this truth is forgotten by our nation–One Nation Under God!

Have you ever hurt from the pain of someone you love or care about?  Even little kids know this pain.  It was not uncommon to have a young student at school come up to me when someone they knew had been treated poorly by another child or even from the teacher or a playground adult on duty.  Kids know when someone is mistreated.  God built us to sense each other’s pain.  These are characteristics He gave us which are His own.  He knows our pain and it pains Him too.

My sis who lost her husband the end of April is in the midst of hurting from the loss of Randy.  It doesn’t matter that she knows he is in a better place–with God Himself, she is left without his physical presence.  I feel her pain and pray with her in it.  In my devotions this morning God was showing me another part of Him that I know, but needed to be reminded.  This reminder is that God knows our pain and feels it, and those of us supporting the one hurting need to also praise God.  Praise God that the pain we know might be real, but it is also temporary.  What is eternal is the love and mercy of God.  The pain will subside but God’s love and mercy will never subside.  We know pain because of man’s choices (our own and those before us) to sin.  Death is part of man’s consequences of sin going back to Adam and Eve.  However, God through His love and mercy gave us Jesus to provide the way to God’s eternal love and mercy.

This morning I hurt for my sis but I praised God that Randy is with God now.  We can do the same–praise God from whom all blessings flow!  We can do that for one another when the one who hurts too much can’t praise at the moment.  God knows and understands.  I think that’s why God tells us we are family.  How I love this Heavenly Dad we have.

This morning I was wondering what my mom was feeling 67 years ago when she had baby #10 to care for?  Bonnie was only 2 and now another.  Dad was gone on a fishing trip yesterday with most of the older boys.  She was left to get herself to the doc for my delivery and she didn’t even drive.  Times were different then even though I know most father’s wouldn’t have done what dad did that day.  I’m so glad to know that in spite of man’s behaviors, our God plans for each one of us.  He wanted me around for a reason just like each one of you.

Yesterday was a pleasant and relaxing day driving into the mountains, eating lunch with friends and enjoying the beauty of God’s created earth.  I had a couple calls from Aslan but I let it go.  God keeps reminding me He is the One at work now and my role is to keep watching.  When I’m to take a next step, I’ll know it as I keep grounded in His leading.

Today I simply want to praise God from Whom all blessings flow.  He is the One and only True God.  I never want to lose sight of this Truth.  To God be all Glory!

It is my birthday!  About 7 years ago my grandson who is 13 told me I was “lucky to be alive” when he found out how old I was at the time.  He laughs now when I kid him about this.  He says he was a little boy then.  I still love his demonstration of childhood thinking and the freedom to express it.

Last night I had two of the most troubling phone calls from the Aslan group.  I am totally stunned by the thinking and absurdity of a couple members.  The situations of this journey I’m on presently leaves me thinking I’m totally on the wrong track and I need to shift quickly.  However, God is staying my actions.  He keeps telling me He is doing His work and He wants me to be ready to respond with my part.  I wish I could be specific with the details, but that would be too much like gossip.  This great group developing to support sex-trafficked girls is in need of prayer.  Satan is certainly not wanting it to move forward.  Splitting it down the middle is exactly what he’s trying to do and last night it was about to happen.  I’m hoping I was able to stop the process for now.

Today we are taking a drive into the mountains and enjoying time with friends who are there for the weekend.  We will go for the day and I need to go pick raspberries before we can leave!  I am lucky to be alive and most lucky to be free to live my life totally for God’s purpose in my life.  I want to forever praise Him!

In my devotional this morning which I’m using, it asked if I know the meaning of heir?  Of course I immediately in my mind went to my book’s title:  The Journey from Heir to Error.  It went on to say that heir gives us access through the work of Jesus Christ to all that Christ has access to with His Father.  We have this access because we chose Christ to be our Lord and Savior.  My greatest component in being an heir has been my freedom from my past.  Living in the freedom, that my past is a tool used by God, is amazing.  However, I’m also learning that to maintain freedom “one day at a time and one moment at a time” is its own assignment.  In the times like the first part of this week, when I had lost sight of my freedom,  I needed to BELIEVE something that for the moment I couldn’t grab a hold of.  I’ve said before that words like believe, trust, faith are spiritual substance words.  They are tangible in the spiritual realm, not this earthly-human realm.  I see this so much more clearly now that I’m back on track.  I am an heir to God’s freedom.  He wants me to fight for this freedom for others who don’t know about it.  This is what happened yesterday in our meeting.  I found myself fighting.

In our board meeting for the sex trafficked girls, I was hearing from others that there is “sin in our camp”.  The reason we are not able to move forward with our plan is that someone is sinning, one member informed us.  This set me back on my haunches and I’m leading the meeting.  We were able to address some troubling actions but we didn’t make any resolve.  The conflict is still very present.  In journaling this morning with God about it He is reminding me of what my Experiencing God is teaching me.  We board members are facing a crisis of belief.  In the crisis God is working and I need to let Him do His kingdom work.  The work this board is attempting to do is Kingdom Work but if man keeps staying in control God can’t and won’t.  So, I’m acting on belief that this outcome will be God’s handiwork.  I’ll only take steps when He opens the door shedding new light.  Until then, if there is sin in the camp, He will certainly identify it.  My assignment?  “Be still and know that I AM GOD” Psalms 46:10

Our God is a loving, gentle, kind Father.  Yet, the work He wants us to do is not called kind and gentle work.  As I have expressed the past couple days, I’ve needed to take a look at the worst character defect–my personal belief of who I am–and BELIEVE what I had thought is nothing but a LIE.  As difficult as it is to work through to the truth that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, God has done His part lovingly, gently and kindly.  The work I do in helping someone else work through their own ugly past is to be done in the same manner as God my Father has done with me.

Just a couple days ago I was questioning whether God actually wants me–this man who was sinned upon and has committed his own sins–to be used by Him.  He gently informed me that it was for these very reasons He wants me doing this.  I will always find this so amazing.  Today’s devotion time led me into God’s understanding that I chose Him to be my Father.  He actually said that when man adopts, the parents choose their child.  However, when God adopts us, we choose Him.  I had never thought through this before, even though I was very aware I chose God to be my Heavenly Father by accepting His Son Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

Today is the meeting with the board for our group working to establish a care facility for sex trafficked girls.  We will be expressing our personal commitment and what God has shown to us He wants us doing specific to this work.  The one thing I do know is that my old belief about myself will be something everyone of these abused kids will struggle with.  I know this piece of their struggle very well.  I want to commit to being loving, gentle and kind as I have the opportunity to mix with them and tackle this huge piece of work.  To God be all Glory, great things He has done and is doing.

Well, the battle of the past couple days didn’t end with yesterday’s blog.  I was called at noon time yesterday by the gentleman who leads our 7-Pillars group for our accountability.  I told him my struggle with the lesson and the specifics of the struggle.  He thanked me for articulating it to him.  He talked to me about his own battle and we ended the call.  The battle raged throughout the afternoon within me.  When I finally got to class last night I really was not in a good place emotionally or mentally.  I had begun to question the commitments I’d made for doing “God’s work”.  In class I talked about the findings from the lesson.  The walk away from the lesson was to replace the lies with truth in God’s word about who I am to God–“I am fearfully and wonderfully made,” for example.

This morning’s devotions brought more clarity for me.  God reminded me where He has me working–in the very pits of human pain and emotional suffering caused by man’s sins.  The past three days of torment have been just that–tormenting.  However, God is reminding me of His love for me and then He reminded me how telling my story of His work in my life brings healing.  He said that there are many who are suffering with their identity with man and particularly their identity with Him.  They need to hear how God is healing this for me.  They need to know that our pain turns into His passion once He is able to help us find His love, purpose and healing.  The roots of abuse run deeply within our flesh, but thanks be to God–our Healer–He takes our hardships and makes them a “pathway to peace” as is stated in the Serenity Prayer.  Our need is to just to take one day at a time and even one moment at a time with God at the helm.  This is not easy work but it is so rewarding when we finally find God in it.  I love this about our God and Father–The Mighty Healer.