I spent a couple hours yesterday with a man who wanted to meet for coffee and talk through some things related to his past being similar to my own. He’d read my book and there were many parallels. As we talked I found it to be very true. Another truth came out of the meeting that was most unexpected and one for which I was most thankful. I’ve mentioned the new man God has created in me, and for each of us as we give our lives to Him, replacing the old man. I’ve also mentioned how I’m learning that I’ve lived all of my life thinking I was remaking this old man into a new one rather than replacing the old man with the new one. Last week, starting this blog site, I hadn’t realized until yesterday how much I’d let that old man Earnie take over again. I was fearful all week, I had temptations to fight that I hadn’t experienced for weeks and months and it wasn’t until yesterday’s talk that the reality of what I had done hit me. I was living in the fears all week that I had kept secret all my life. Here I was writing a blog that anyone could access if they wanted because I knew God was prompting me to do this, but I was doing this out of fear rather than out of joy and obedience.
It is an odd moment as I write this, but I feel free this morning. I can’t explain it any other way. The reality of who God is and what He wants us to know about Him and His Team: Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit are remarkable! Learning to surrender totally to Him is an ongoing process and one I don’t want to quit until the day I arrive to my eternal home.