Last night in our weekly step study class our lesson was on Relapse. In the back of the Celebrate Recovery Bible there are 30 daily devotions which coincide with each of the lessons taught in CR and in the step studies. In reading the devotion last night it states that our temptation isn’t sin–it is a battle. As I was journaling about this statement this morning God pointed out something for me I truly needed to experience. He said this is why I’ve placed My Holy Spirit within you and why I have My Son Jesus standing before you. This battle is not to be fought by you. Surrender it and let those who have already won the battle stand in this gap for you. I have always struggled with my identity in Christ and have always simply tried to fight the good fight on my own. Even though I’ve known for years what God was telling me, I for the first time saw it in my own personal circumstances. There is a little more to this story because He also told me that He had created me to be a saint, not abused. Man did this, not Him. He has restored the original creation within me, I just haven’t ever been able to fully accept it. I found this so humbling and I wanted to believe it as truth too.
I went into our bedroom and was sharing this with Kathy. As I was trying to articulate it to her I broke and wept. The reality of this truth seemed to good to be true for me. God is wanting me to know this truth at each moment of each day–not just when I may be experiencing an emotional high or a spiritual high. I love this and desperately need it.
The other thing God pointed out this morning had to do with my journaling to Him. I told Him I felt as though I was losing touch with Jesus and The Holy Spirit when I journaled to Him only. He was quick in letting me know He is All Three. He is the ONE of the Three in One. Somehow this reality is going to take root. I look forward to grasping this reality more thoroughly.
I was lastly informed this morning that I am not alone with this battle. Much of mankind struggles with this mostly in silence. He asked me to share this with you so that is why I am placing it in today’s blog. I hope it speaks clarity in truth for you as it does for me. It also shows such intimacy about this magnificent God our ours.