Today is my oldest child’s birthday. She is far from a child anymore but it is funny how that word–“child” just springs forth. I suppose she will be my “child” even when I’m in my 90’s and she is in her ????. Best not put that here! Happy birthday Amy!
It seems as though I write almost every Wednesday about something that happened in our step study the night before. Today isn’t going to be any exception. Last night we finished the chapter on Relapse. There were questions about our prayer life and several pointed ones about it. Suddenly I re-realized that these questions were suppose to be specific to Relapse–not just questions about our prayer life. In other words, how does our prayer life impact our ability to not relapse or does it have an impact? I began to awaken to the truth that all the rituals we have for our prayer life aren’t anything but rituals if we don’t have a meaningful relationship with the One we are praying to: Father God, Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit. Everyone one of us knows about relapse whether we are participating in something like Celebrate Recovery or just living life each day. We stumble into old habits that have haunted us throughout life.
I finally said last night that my greatest strength in prayer support has come from building intimacy with my Father God. It started when I finally understood–He loves me–me. This has been such a huge factor for me once I’ve begun to journal to Father God these past few weeks. I’ve had to face the reality that I’ve not wanted to–what if God does think of me just what I thought He did–“Well, I made him, but he’s not what I had intended.” That lie is finally dead and I’ve begun to be awakened to the truth that God made no mistake when He had me come into my earthly family. So much strength was imparted to me when I began to come to this reality. The strength wasn’t like muscle strength, it was more about a peace that now I can trust God’s strength to conquer temptation and surrender becomes easier now that I better understand who I am surrendering to. God is amazing and I want to learn so much more about worshiping Him in spirit and in truth as we wrote about yesterday.