My scripture reading this morning was Exodus chapters 20-25.  In them God is outlining for Moses how He wants Him to lead the Israelites and what He wanted them to do and how He wanted them to live.  In Ex. 23:20 it says: “Behold, I send an Angel before you to keep and guard you on the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared.” Later, in verse 30 it says:  “Little by little I will drive them out from before you until you have increased and are numerous enough to take possession of the land.”  I have always read these scriptures as God’s work of old.  This morning when I read them God had me realize what He wanted me knowing today.

I tell in my book how I would go away from our house on the farm to be alone.  One particular time I was sitting on the ditch bank very sad about what was happening to me by my brother and dad.  At this time I was probably 10 years old.  I sensed a very real presence that day, one that I would sense many more times.  Now, 50 years later, in my counseling therapy for PTSD I was being led into the shame of my past.  In the session I was literally overcome with the weight of the shame.  I could only whisper and couldn’t move any limb on my body.  My counselor told me to ask God to send an angel to help lift the weight of the shame from me.  Nothing happened when I asked.  When she asked me what was happening I told her, “nothing.  God didn’t send an angel and He never had.”  She told me to not believe that lie. She said to keep asking until something happened.  All of a sudden there were two beings present who lifted the weight of the shame from me.  When I told her someone had come she asked who was present?  I told her it was God and Jesus.  When the session ended she reminded me to thank them for coming to my aid today.  As I was driving back to work afterwards I realized I hadn’t thanked them.  I said out loud in my pickup, “God, thanks for coming today with Jesus.”  I then asked Him why He wouldn’t send an angel?  He immediately replied to my mind, “I didn’t send an angel because I wanted you to know Christ and I both care deeply for you.”  I had to pull over to the side of the road and weep.

Today, God revealed to me that He still has angels guarding each of us as He did for the Israelites so long ago.  He also pointed out the fact that He restores us from the damages of our past little by little as we are ready to meaningfully take over these areas.  In Celebrate Recovery I’ve learned to call these my character defects.  Those beliefs that were lies about me and the habits I’d also learned to cope with my unbelief.  God has been showing me how He wants me to work with the hurting people who still only know the hurts in their lives.  As He has brought health to me, He wants me joining Him to assist others finding their health.  I’m humbly grateful to do so.  God is so good.