The Journey Continues: Aug. 27, 2017

I continue to reflect on what God is showing me/wanting me to learn from the troublesome days in the past week.  I said yesterday I was to learn about surrendering what isn’t mine to lead so I stay in the work as a servant doing what is to be done.  This morning I realize I don’t have the human accountability in the work I’m doing for present projects.  There aren’t clear parameters set which is like poison for me.  Poison in the fact that I will take on the whole project as though it were mine to lead.  I don’t intent to do this arrogantly, but so that all the detail I see in my mind gets completed, as though that were everyone’s intent.  This morning I realize I need to ask the specific question:  “What role am I to play in this and what do you see this role looking like?”  I’m pretty good at doing what I’m told to do, but I have to know it.  If I think I should do more than given to me, I can then ask if that would be appropriate.  I need to tell the person/s I’m working with to let me know if I am overstepping my bounds.  I then need to ask off and on if we are in tandem with one another.  It may sound odd to write all of this, but it is freeing to my spirit and mind to know what I need to do to not step back into the quagmire I was in most of last week.

It is quite amazing how God over time heals.  Yesterday Kathy and I hosted a family reunion with the three brothers and spouses which are living in our area.  In fact, the only living boys are here in S. Idaho.  Not so long ago if we did this I’d be jovial, but uptight during the time and especially ahead of time.  I’d need a day or two to let my emotions unwind when it was over too.  Yesterday was simply a wonderful, relaxing and fun time with no anxiety, no fears, no perceived judgment.  It is so good to finally be free of these imposed burdens I have carried so long.  Praise be to God!

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