It doesn’t matter what we are doing, how busy we are or how relaxed we are, the journey continues. Yesterday was a very full day keeping my mind from going into the delivery of my testimony to our Celebrate Recovery group. I was thankful for that. In spite of the willingness to tell my story, it stirs the rawness of it and Satan always wants to try and give as much upheaval as possible. So, God was good in having the day as it was.
The first time I gave my testimony I recall starting it and then being in the share group following it. I have no memory of the in between time. I didn’t do that on purpose it is just something my mind does on its own. All these years later I am able to stay “awake” during the entire message. In so doing I am very raw when done. When the abuse was taking place I use to feel this same rawness but it was attached to the filth I felt within me. My brain knew to zone out and dislodge any memory of the event. This rawness today, even though the same, carries within it a body that is no longer filthy from sin. It is a new creation made clean by the Cross of Calvary–the very work of God’s Son–Jesus Christ. The rawness means I told it all just as God wanted me to do. I don’t feel dirty resulting from it. I do feel exposed, but that is from God’s Light being shed on such darkness. It is so humbling and rewarding to hear the words of others saying how much it helps them in their own work of recovery. This provides the freedom I’ve always sought knowing there is no judgment in telling, only freedom being offered for others.
Today wraps up the state level training I’ve been attending the past couple days for the consulting work I do with schools/districts. God is showing me many connections between the ministry of recovery and the consulting of recovery. The schools where I spend my time haven’t been successful in helping their students learn to the degree needed for today’s world. My role is to help them see what’s missing and then fill it with guidance for teachers and administrators. In many cases it involves helping the leaders know how to lead and support the work within their schools so the word is productive and resulting in a well rounded child learning all that is needed. Both worlds, the ministry one and the school one, need to have their focus adjusted and a belief system which gives them enough confidence that “I can do this” with the right help. I use to think the work competed with one another but God is showing me what He wants me to see. The work has many similarities and I am to connect them so I can strengthen both with His Wisdom and Leadership.