This morning I started a new journal so as I do, I went back to the beginning of the previous one to see where God and I were in our journey together when I had started it. I found that Kathy and I had just arrived in S. Carolina last October. I was working on intimacy with God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit. I was wanting to trust them fully as I felt God nudging me to do so. As I reflected on this I can see tremendous growth in not only trusting God, but also in trusting God’s timing, God’s nudges and His love for me. I don’t mean for this to sound selfish. Instead, I am so grateful to understand and receive all of this.
In starting my new journal I wrote that I’m now ready to face my selfish pride. All of my life I’ve used my past as my excuse for any sin I’d commit. Either I was running or hiding from the hurt of past abuse. However, God has patiently brought me to the point in healing where the past is that–past. I well remember it, in fact due to therapy I remember it much more now than I ever did. I’ve learned that remembering it is not the same as being in bondage to it. The bondage is mostly broken and gone. What I can see clearly is my own sin, my own pride and selfishness. So I asked God this morning to let this be our work as I journal this coming period of time I’ll be recording in my new journal.
Something else hit me this morning as I was recording my conversing with God. I’ve been writing about God nudging me to Embrace the Cross which I’ve been doing. So this morning as I’ve been reflecting, God has pointed out that it is at the Cross where my sins were not only buried, but it is there that my new creation was given birth. The old me didn’t just die there, I was given new life! This new life still has times of temptation in it but in it I have an army of human support I’m now fully awake to who are waiting for me to simply tell when I need them fighting for me–like times of temptation. I no longer need to keep any of this a secret as I had thought in my old self. God’s promise to us in James 5;16 that when we confess to God, ourselves and to one another we will be healed, is TRUE. I am finding such great healing! We all can by trusting exactly what God has told us in His Word. How I love Him!