Last night I finished a book which is an autobiography of Dennis Jernigan. He is a song writer and worship leader from Oklahoma. He is a man who is about 10 years younger than me. His journey is told well in finding freedom from homosexuality. His book is titled: Sing Over Me. Several things amazed me as I read the book. First, he had no counseling except through some friends God put in his path and there was no recovery group to assist. All this was done through God’s divine intervention and Dennis’ commitment. I don’t want to discredit the recovery work we are doing, but it was a good reminder that this work is not the only means of God’s working.
One of the other things that was made clear to me from reading the book (an unexpected discovery) is the differences we have in addressing the topic of homosexuality and its origin within man. I’m not firm on anything I write here. All I know is that I am firm in believing that anyone who acts on homosexual temptations sins. The temptation is not a sin, it ranks right up there with any other temptation man struggles with. If we act on it then it is sin, and if we give it over to Christ, we win by not sinning. Satan doesn’t care how he gets us to sin, he just wants to grip us tightly in it with the bondage acting on sin gives us.
The last thing I was hit with from reading this book is that I COULD read it without needing to lay it down many times due to all kinds of triggers. Homosexuality has always been aligned with abuse for me so anytime I would read something about it I would fight to not picture the person as an abuser. I understand Satan is the biggest abuser, but from the human standpoint, this struggle is just that–a struggle. The fact I could read the book and do so from a learning perspective without needing to take a walk every little bit is amazing. God is truly healing me and I am SO VERY GRATEFUL. The wounds of my past are becoming the stories I use as I can help those God puts in my path. How grateful I am!