So yesterday I finally found the blog I’d written on the 16th.  It is on another page and how I get that page onto this one is beyond me.  I’m sure it bothered no one but me.  I’m glad to know the lost is found and I’m not as nutty as I was thinking!

Maybe this forthcoming message will sound strange but it was important for me.  As I was beginning my journaling this morning I was nudged to converse with Jesus rather than my Father.  For a couple days I’ve been battling my pride about the need to confess each week my struggle with homosexuality.  My devotional reading this morning talked about taking up our cross just as Jesus did–struggles and all, and be obedient to what God is asking us to do.  Part of the battle for me is that when I say this I bring back many fears of my past–Will I be like my brother and abuse?  I already know this answer but if I don’t face them they become paralyzing moments for me.  I know Jesus wants to heal these within us but He can’t if I don’t face them with Him.  Today I faced them.

Jesus is the Master Healer so I’ve asked Him to heal my mind/memories in these areas still untouched and not faced yet by me.  Total obedience is what I want and He reminded me that His strength comes when I am able to surrender.  Jesus is such a model for each of us.  How much I want to be a reflection of Him and not my pride.