Today is a special day. It is the 2 year anniversary of my journaling to God. Sound silly? It does somewhat as I write this. Celebrating this however for me is and has been one of the most incredible parts of my current journey. For anyone who doesn’t know the background of this, it was two years ago today that I was starting my devotional journaling by writing Jesus in my journal. I would start by acknowledging that I was journaling to Him. As I did that two years ago I heard a voice within me say, “I don’t want you any longer journaling to My Son, but I want you to journal to Me.” Somehow I knew this was God speaking. So, I crossed out Jesus and wrote Father God. On the 3rd day of this journaling I began to weep as I wrote Father God. I told Him I wasn’t worthy to write to Him. He was pure and divine. How was a troubled, scarred soul like me suppose to write to Him? I had grown comfortable journaling to Jesus because He had come to us as man so he’d at least understand where I was coming from. On this 3rd morning as I wrote this, I heard God say, “I sent My Son to you to show you the way to Me, not to replace Me.” That message has stuck with me since. I knew God was wanting me to grow into a trusting relationship with Him personally.
In these past two years God has become my Father, my Dad. The Amazing Grace I’ve been recently writing about is Him. He has shown me my need to learn the power of choice and evil. In so doing, He has shown me that in spite of their power–He is The Almighty One. He gave man choice and Satan has influenced man into selfish choice which has led to such atrocious evil throughout time. However, no matter how strong evil may look, He is still The Almighty One. Choice is still the option. We are to turn to Him and in so doing, we see Light we had never seen before.
Lastly, God has shown me what intimacy is. It is filled with trust. I have always trusted completely when I was primarily in control of what was going on around me. I would be filled with anxiety if that weren’t true. God, over these past two years, has shown me that when I trust Him He will take care of the environment and I can let it go. I’ve surrendered so many times in the past couple years! I’m still needing to do so too. Each day is a time to surrender and I do this each morning for I no longer want me to be in control. I want to join and actively be part of The God Team.
God’s Amazing Grace is nothing less than AMAZING!