Have you ever realized that the biggest problem we face might be ourselves? I’m seeing that this morning. Yesterday was a calm day for me as far as activity goes. I had things to do in the morning leaving the afternoon open. I used it to read a book that feeds information for one of our recovery classes. In fact, it is the book first written ahead of the curriculum for those dealing with abuse. The curriculum is so thoughtfully done as it is written for the abused. The book I’m reading is written to understand abuse from the standpoints of what it is, characteristics of the abuser and steps for overcoming abuse. The author states he has tried to write it so it is not too clinical, but I will say that in spite of his attempts–it is very clinical. More even than this, I find the book depresses me. I know I must realize what happens to us in abuse and what the characteristics of the abuser are, but I find myself realizing this was true about my dad and my brother and it sickens me. In my career of education I’ve also known scores of people who abused their kids and I keep seeing their faces as I read. I know this is real and I must understand it and face it. I will too.
So, I’m writing this because yesterday I found myself automatically shifting from why I’m reading this to what else I could be doing with my “retirement time”. Yesterday late afternoon and evening I had fleeting thoughts that I might try…. This morning as I was bringing all of this to God He reminded me of His Wisdom and His Timing. I just finished a week ago the on-line training provided for the abuse group which the book author, his wife and staff had created. Now I needed to read this book. Every abused person has an abuser. I need to be well-rounded in my awareness of detail if I’m going to promote this and lead it. The timing for reading this book is now. God doesn’t want me shifting away from the topic but to be fully equipped in it. Who ever said these topics would be easy anyway? Well, today I’m ready to move forward. No more skipping to new topics to see if maybe I should be doing something else. God has made it abundantly clear He wants me to stay put. I actually want to stay right here too. It is where I find Him working and I find He wants me joining Him.