As I begin this entry today I type the title and then ponder, continues from what? Instantly I know the what but I don’t often put it in the blog. I never want to lose sight of the freedom God is granting me from the mental torment and bondage I lived with all my life. Freedom from the grip of addiction: pornography on the internet; freedom from the fear of someone always lurking close by wanting to take advantage of me somehow; freedom from the fear that I’d never be free from the voices of dad in my head criticizing every decision and thought I had, often paralyzing me. There is more but this is enough. These days are now much behind me. Yes, there are moments in a week when they start but for most of them I am able to put them at bay right then.
Freedom is never something to take for granted. There is always a battle, and sometimes many battles, to be fought in order to gain freedom. For me, most of my battles were already fought through Christ’s Work on the Cross. I was the one who didn’t accept them nor did I know how to accept His Work. Once I let go of believing the sin of my brother to my body was not my sin and that the criticism of dad was his sin, not my makeup, I began to find greater freedom.
Much of the freedom is crippled by being owned by fear. Now that fear is on the outside of me rather than inside owning me, I can see this. It is one of the greatest reasons my journey to freedom exists. I wake up each morning with fears wanting me to believe them as true. This morning God reminded me that evil is present always around us. Know this. But, also know that The Holy Spirit living within us recognizes the evil and will deal with it if we surrender the fear to Him rather than battle the lie ourselves. We do this by trusting The Holy Spirit and telling Him to take care of the lie and then moving forward with what God has in store for the day.
I am only one step away from the torment of my past. But, now that I know I am a new creation and this new creation is not one of fear, but one filled with God’s Holy Spirit who has already won the battle, I move forward with victory rather than the fear of another defeat. Join me in this belief if this torment is still within you. God does not wanting you or me believing there is no peace this side of death for there is GREAT PEACE when we can let it go!