It is quite remarkable today sitting down to write this blog entry. I had an unexpected gift given to me last night which greatly impacts what I write today. After all the company had left from the reunion, Dwight (Kathy’s younger brother) and I were sitting on the deck at their sister’s. He is the one who got me connected originally with Celebrate Recovery and our present restoration ministry. We talked about the work of the ministries and the impact of them for others’ recovery. I opened up to him regarding the recent discovery I’ve had regarding my need to face the neglect of mom during my childhood with the abuse. I just needed her to check in with me but that never occurred.
As we talked I was able to tell him how I’ve always seen my sin. Even though I know my sins were nailed to the Cross of Christ, personally, I’ve never known what to do with the sins of dad and my brother. They seemed to be nailed to the cross for their sake, but they were still housed in me. It wasn’t until last Spring when I went through the lesson in Mending the Soul facing neglect as an area of abuse that I finally faced fully the impact of mom’s neglect and the damage it did. In so doing this and seeking a few weeks of professional counseling with it, I found myself free of dad and my brother’s sin bondage. I began to see myself as the new creation God said I was (am). I also saw my sins as mine and no longer owned the other sins done to me.
Talking to Dwight last night was the first time I’ve actually articulated this fully to someone. It feels really good today to have done that. God is so amazing! I love how He patiently waits for our readiness to take us to the next step in our own recovery. All the while, He may be using us for someone else’s recovery. This is exactly what He did last night using Dwight for me. How thankful I am.