Well, the journey does continue. As I began my journaling this morning I saw the letter my prayer warrior had sent me only a few days ago. It was challenging me to take a look at my “worthiness factor”. Had I seen it improve–she was asking? The book I’m going through with another man which I’ve written about–I Give You Authority, challenges us to believe the authority for which we are given when Christ comes into our lives. The author goes on to say that God gifts each of us differently, but He does give each of us gifts. The authority He gives us helps us to use these gifts for Him.
For several years I’ve been challenged to take a verse of promise and read it several times a day for a month so I will believe the truth of the verse. One of them is Psalms 139:14–“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made….” Every time I’ve tried this I just couldn’t stay with it. This practice caused too much disturbance in my mind with all of dad’s old messages screaming at me. As I saw my letter this morning I was going to ignore it again, but God was pressing me to read it. In so doing I read that Satan purposefully does all he can in his power to destroy our ability to use the gifts given to us by God. As I was processing all of this I realized I have always discontinued the practice of believing because the outcome of believing led me to see only what dad would tell me and I never wanted to be someone who thought he was better than his family and would disown them. This time God was showing me that He, my Father, was the giver of gifts. My using them completed His purposes in my life, not my earthly father’s.
A veil of darkness was lifted this morning. Gifts are given for us to complete God’s purposes in our lives. I’ve known this all of my life. But, truth be known, I’ve tried to avoid at all cost any recognition for any gift being used for God. A very different picture is forming in my spirit today. How I love the faithfulness of our loving Father God!