I have never in my entire life been so acutely aware of living life surrendered to Jesus Christ as I am this very day. Living life each day in obedience to Jesus and His Gift, The Holy Spirit, is a new phenomena. What makes it so new is the absence of doubt. The doubt for me has always been driven by that inner voice of incapability or worthiness. It was also fed by the doubt that even though God promised each of us The Holy Spirit, I just was incapable of fulfilling what He wanted to do through me. Today, all of this doubt is gone. However, the new message of self-love, self-appreciation and self-confidence has not taken root. I don’t want to hide myself writing this as always in the past, but I don’t seem to have a hook to hang them to. Yet, just in writing this I realize the first hook I have is the promise of God. One example is Isaiah 41:10: “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
I am going into a meeting this morning with one of the school districts for which I serve. I’ve always walked into these meetings with a good deal of doubt hidden behind a hope that all would go well and I’d give it repeatedly to God to take charge. This meeting is a new approach the superintendent is taking and I’m there to add insights into this new approach. I’m trying to describe what it is like to have the doubt gone. I don’t find a confidence but I do sense a freedom to walk into this knowing God’s Holy Spirit will reveal His Leadership in His timing and in His Way. How amazing it is to realize this is our God at work in us as we learn to surrender fully and believe fully. It is day 2!