Today I feel wide awake to God’s truth that I am a new creation. My first jubilant celebration is that I’m not my dad and my second one is that I am not my brother. I am a new creation. For the past couple of years my two oldest kids have been talking about a personality assessment which is called Enneagram. They have studied it a good deal and have come up with a “possible definition” for me. I had bought the book but had loaned it to my oldest grandson who read what he wanted and kept forgetting to return it. I finally got it back a couple weeks ago. I began to read it and kept getting more and more fearful from the reading. I kept seeing family members I didn’t want to be like such as dad. There were also the weaknesses of each type which I struggled to read. I found myself lost in the dilemma finally knowing I’m not the old self I feared, but how can I ever be who I was created to be? How can I be comfortable being who God created? Is anyone comfortable with who they are?
I finally called my sponsor and asked if we could get together this weekend. He’s coming over this early afternoon. I’m not sure what the outcome of this will be, but I need to process all of this out loud with someone “I trust” as in yesterday’s scripture I quoted in the blog. All of this may sound crazy to some readers, but it is the reality of my journey for this current time. I know God is wanting me to work through this so I can trust who He made me to be. I’ll have another report tomorrow.