Day 2 of pondering with God about the topic of sexual abuse is bringing awareness I’ve hidden behind my entire life. I could have never before this present time been able to stay focused on this topic for a week. I’ve needed to hide it and move on. What I was able to record this morning with Jesus is that all I want to do is self-gratify when I am awake to the feelings of this abuse. I’ve hated this all of my life so I’ve always stuffed it knowing I don’t want to step into this sinful nature. With the commitment now to stay focused through the week I asked Jesus to show me what He wanted me to know. He kindly pointed out that I see darkness as I see this abuse and this is SO TRUE. He asked me to turn on the Light He provides. This Light reveals TRUTH rather than lies. The biggest truth is that this is His battle, not mine. He wants to fight it for me. He wants me to put on His Shield of Faith for my protection. Lastly, He pointed out that I am not “little Earnie” anymore. I am the new creation who is grandpa Earnie today and I don’t need to hide anything from my past. If any reader were present at this moment they would see that my eyes are filled with tears of rejoicing as I write this. PRAISE JESUS!
