Last night’s lesson for Celebrate Recovery was CROSSROADS. It is the lesson where we take what we have been taught to do and see if we are going to make it a habit. Examples of this are: examining our day to see if there were any wrongs in it which need to be admitted and ask amends for; are we now daily in God’s word and journaling, etc. Are the old habits being addressed and replaced with new, healthy ones? The crossroads lesson reminds us that the insights from previous lessons are to become new habits or else we fall victim to relapsing.
As I listened to the lesson I was challenged to apply it to my Mending the Soul purpose for the week–staying awake to what sexual abuse has done and responding to what God wants to tell/show me. What has become extremely clear to me is that I felt the sexual abuse robbed all personal value from me. I had to create value for me from what I do. The self-love, self-appreciation and self-confidence needed to be fed by the success of doing. This has always been my singing, my educational profession and my gardening. My personal characteristics were what attracted men to want me for sex so I had to replace them–I thought. How could one love oneself when he attracted abuse to himself?
All of this has been laid before me these past few days and I give them to God my Healer. He has allowed me to recognize them, rebuke them and to now replace them. All of these teachings are coming together to restore and awaken the new creation God has wanted me to know. I look forward to this coming Sunday’s class so we can share our findings with one another. Our God is AMAZING!