OK, it is confession time. While Kathy and I were on our trip I began to be tormented with temptations of porn like I have never been. I didn’t talk about it to anyone, I just kept stuffing it thinking this was truly weird. I had thought for a few moments that the demons of the past were still present in the locations we were visiting. As we got home last Monday night I found the temptations to be just as strong and they continued through yesterday. I kept wondering why I was in such attack but continued to not tell and try to fight them off.
Last night’s lesson at Celebrate Recovery was “Powerless”. I have taught this lesson many times but hadn’t signed up to teach it this time since we were gone. A new person taught it allowing me to listen. I don’t recall if the teacher said the following or if I heard the Spirit’s voice within say it, but the message was: “When we allow ourselves to be ‘powerless’, we then must replace the powerless with ‘belief’. If we don’t believe that the POWER of Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit are within us then it is futile to admit we are powerless. On the other hand, admitting we are powerless and believing that the POWER of Jesus Christ Himself lives mightily within gives us the opportunity to surrender the temptations to The Holy Spirit’s POWER.
Yesterday’s devotional title was “Let go and believe”. I thought that was a “right on” message, but didn’t apply it to the attacks I was having. Not until last night did it all begin to come together. Yes, I was in the presence of where Satan himself had begun to deter the new believers of Christ and Christ had revealed to John the messages He wanted written in the book of Revelations so they would refocus themselves. God, in my own distress was wanting me to recognize how powerless I am to stand up to demonic attacks and immediately surrender them knowing I am filled with the POWER of The Holy Spirit and these demons have to flee in His Presence.
This morning I have realized the message James had for us in James 1:2 which says: “Count it all joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds….” God uses all of these to grow us into more of His Son’s likeness. I don’t want to lose sight of this ever again!