Yesterday, after we had gotten home from church, my wife asked me if there were a reason I had been so quiet of late? Lots of quick thoughts flashed through my head but none I wanted to step into so I quickly said, “I don’t think so,” and the topic was dropped. However, the remainder of the day kept the question in the forefront of my mind. This morning as I started my journaling I needed to take this question and put substance to my silence. It was almost 50 years ago when a teacher who knew me well told me that she’d learned that when I grew silent I was working through topic/topics which I needed to address, but not ready yet to talk about them. Kathy’s question brought me back to this reality.
There has been a good deal of change in this past year for me personally. God has been growing me to truly believe I am a new creation. With this comes a great deal of reality I’ve written much about. Coupled with all of this has been the change in purpose for daily living. Leaving education and entering counseling has been huge. I know it’s what God has wanted me to do. I’m still just trying to get my footing established and that hasn’t happened yet. I find myself home more of the time and making this time worthwhile is a question. These things and more are not finished being processed so I find myself “quiet” until I’m ready to talk about them. My natural trait is to talk when I think I’ve found the light of day in them.
This morning I’ve been challenged to now talk with Kathy so I can hear her input in these. All of these changes are impacting her as well as me and my silence isn’t helping her process. So with her wake-up question yesterday, I’ll begin a conversation today that will hopefully help both of us as this new year begins. Kathy has always been a good guide when I’m stuck so today will allow us to deal with it.