I unfortunately told you yesterday I’d let you know how it went staying out of the cave in the aftermath of giving my testimony. I think the first thing I want to say is that it was a lot easier liking myself when I was in denial to many of the human weaknesses I have. Waking up to all the human characteristics isn’t fun. I use to dismiss these moments in my mind almost instantly so that I wouldn’t compare them to being like my brother or my dad. Now that I’m awake to my humanness I realize I’m simply one of them. That is neither good nor bad, just a reality.
So, how did I do yesterday? I did go through a moment of struggle in the afternoon, but it wasn’t too bad. I persevered. Last night’s lesson in Celebrate Recovery was “Grace”. It pointed out that God is far more interested in who we are rather than what we do. I told my share group following the lesson that I keep needing to be reminded of this fact. Somehow my internal me wants to be doing good all the time so I’m worthwhile. God reminded me this morning that He wants me to “be” loving, kind, gentle and forgiving. These characteristics are His and He wants me to share them for others. Actually, I want to do that too but notice I said “do” that. I’m driven to do and not often awake to “be” that. This lesson continues to have lots for me to learn. I go to work today with a school district so I will be doing, but I will strive to “be” while doing so.