The journey today has already begun. It actually started last night at the Conquer class I am in Tuesday evenings. The DVD speaker said for each of us to identify the 4 prophetic promises God has given to us during our life. We were to go back in life reflecting on the times when we knew God had spoken to us and write down the message He was giving at that time. These promises were to then be used to combat Satan’s attacks on us during the day. When I heard this command my spirit knew it was a critical one to do but it didn’t resonate within me with meaning. When we were done with our small group discussion following the large group time watching the DVD I asked the others to tell me what the command given to us to write down the 4 prophetic promises meant. I found that they were as stymied as I was. We did agree that we were to spend time reflecting on God’s message to us from specific points in our past. That became my assignment for this morning while having my devotions.
As I got to my journaling time, I asked God to help me know these 4 times and what His message was to me. I immediately wanted to write down a time when I was about 10 but God quickly reminded me that the moment I was referencing was about His Holy Spirit, not Him. The only other time I could come up with was a time my sophomore year in college when I came across a song that has run through my mind ever since. I don’t know the name of it but the words are: I met God today in the whispering trees, His voice speaking tenderly telling me of His wonderful love, whispering these words to me: I love you, I love you. I want you to know I’m with you I’m with you wherever you go. These are the words that I heard God say beneath the trees, beside the stream today. I can’t begin to tell you the countless times I’ve had this song come to mind particularly as I begin my day with devotions. Until today I’ve sung it in my mind thanking God for loving me.
This morning had a different take on the words of the song. This morning God asked me to believe the words. This morning He asked me to finally believe I am able to be loved and that I can receive love. My mind quickly began to tell him the reasons I couldn’t relating back to my childhood day. Never once in all my years did I ever feel loved or accepted. I felt appreciated a couple times by my mom when I’d do something extra nice for her, but loved??? Then God told me my prophetic promise is simply this: I AM LOVED. He reminded me of so many times (far more than 4) that He has told me this message and now is the time for believing it. He also said the 4 of last night is a man’s assignment. His assignment is for me to believe the one prophetic promise–I AM LOVED.
I know that God is getting to root of why He wanted me to begin journaling to Him 6+ weeks ago. He has been wanting me to believe that HE-my Heavenly Father-loves me. He led me down a quick path of remembrance regarding my doing. As long as I am doing, I feel fine. However, when I stop doing, I instantly start slipping into this unbelief. Now is the time to believe that in being–simply being me–I AM LOVED.