“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10. Yesterday I had the time with my friend who needed to talk. So much came out that needed to be verbalized. He kept apologizing for the randomness of all that was said. I kept reminding him that emotions are not orderly so don’t expect to tell them in any order. Just tell. By the time we were done he was feeling much better and he seemed to know what he was to do next. I won’t go into all of this for it is his story. He needed to know that God is God. He needed to know how to be still before God in this trial.
Yesterday was a beautiful day. I got my lawn mowed and then even had time for a brief nap. I found myself feeling very despondent. I couldn’t seem to shake it either. There was some of my own emotions tied to it I knew. It was as though all the questions and struggles God had me hearing from my friend were now my own. So much of this person’s past resembles my own. I was struggling to not believe old thoughts as true for me. This didn’t improve throughout the evening either.
As I began my devotions this morning I confessed this. God began to show me the importance of the scripture I started with. One of the meanings of “be still” is quit fighting. All my life “I” have fought these feelings. God is showing me that HE is God and if I try to fight this I am attempting to make me god. Instead of waiting upon God to give His Light, I just want to do away with the problem/s. I act impulsively and usually make things worse. Then, Satan has won again. These are tough lessons to learn, but I don’t want to any longer be a victim. Instead, I want to be a victor. As I write this I see that victim ends in IM while victor ends with OR. I don’t want to be focused on I AM, but choose the OR and be a victor. So, I surrendered these feelings as a lie. I’m letting God fight the battle I cannot win, for He has already won this through His Son–Jesus Christ!