God was very kind yesterday making known to me what I wrote. There is something however I was still needing to grab ahold of regarding the new creation God gave me. In my mind I’ve always wanted to be a person I’m not. I was fine with the fact I love to garden–any kind–vegetables as well as flowers. Both give me great delight. I also love singing and working with people as I do with education and with the ministry connections. I’ve hated the fact that the worldly definition of “manly characteristics” included at the top of the list: sports, mechanics, building things, etc. These were not strengths for me. I wished I could be a person of all of this. Well, I’ve settled in my mind I am ok with who God created me to be and I can be “His masterpiece” with who I am.
So, yesterday another flaw I’ve known about me came to the forefront just as I was going to bed. Last week I was in the attendance of some tremendous training specific to the educational consulting I do. It was excellent. From it three of us, two from the state dept of education and I, are going to a conference at the last minute which the presenter invited us to attend. If Kathy had been with me she’d told me to check my calendar. I even texted her about checking hers to see if she could go along. She couldn’t because next week is VBS and she’s taking grandkids daily. I on the other hand didn’t check mine, I just “knew” I was OK to go. As I was getting ready for bed last night I was reviewing next week’s schedules in my head and was grateful the conference didn’t conflict with the quartet practice we have next Tuesday. I leave Wed. am. Then it hit me! Our quartet is practicing next Tuesday because we are singing a big program Thursday night in Boise which has been on my calendar in my phone for 3 months. Somehow, today and Monday I will need to see if someone else can go in my place to the conference. I’m writing all of this because something that I have known is a weakness is checking detail. Usually when this happens it is just a matter of rearranging things so they can still take place. In this case, I can’t abandon the quartet and it is a costly error in that the flight is already booked, etc.
In times past I would be beating myself up for days regarding this. Today, God is wanting me to see that I’m a new creation that is still human. He has given me a great detail wife who I need to access compensating for this weakness. She’d happily complete this area with me if I’d allow her. So, today I will swallow my human pride and ask her to help me do this. She has been trying to get me to coordinate our phones so she can see my calendar as well as her own. Now, I see why she wanted to do this! She knows my weakness too. God gives us those who will complete us if we will only use this help. I don’t have to beat myself up for being incomplete. I can instead thank God for giving me a strength to compensate for where I’m not. Only Satan and my “old self pride” wants me to resist help. My new creation recognizes my weaknesses and seeks to fill the gaps with the help God has already given me.