Well, I got myself out of the trip this week and called my sis who was arranging for my two sis’s and my niece and her husband to meet with me for dinner Friday night. I still need to do something with the plane ticket and will get to it this morning. This is a good lesson for learning some valuable things God has been wanting me to take out of denial and put on the table. I no longer have to hide weaknesses as though they are flaws. These kind of characteristics are only weaknesses when we hide them hoping no one will know about them.
Today in scripture reading from II Samuel I read about David’s continued victories over all the enemies of Israel. God was blessing him from every angle. David, in the spring while his armies were out fighting, didn’t accompany them on one occasion. Instead, he was at his palace and saw a beautiful woman bathing. She was the wife of one of his soldiers. He had her brought to him and had an affair with her. She became PG and the sin complicated even more. He had the husband killed on the war’s front when he wouldn’t go to bed with his wife. The scripture goes on to say God was very displeased with David’s actions of sinning and hiding it for so long never recognizing it and confessing it.
This really hit me as I was reading it. No one knows sin and hiding it any better than I do. Also, no one knows the guilt and shame which develop within us as we stay in hiding any better than me. Even as we begin to address our hurts, hang-ups and habits, we stumble with sin. God wants us to take advantage of the help He offers us. Some of this help is with our spouse (if we are married), some is with friends, some with accountability from a support group, etc.. God nudges us to talk to someone, but our pride and insecurities scream that we will be disowned if people know. Also, there is that voice in us which says, “I enjoy this sometimes.” Well, no matter what the circumstances, God has given us His Son Jesus Christ as our example. Christ in turn has given us The Holy Spirit to strengthen us to step in rightness. I’ve never taken this step and found judgment. Instead, since I’ve begun my own journey of recovery, I’ve found support, forgiveness, love, tenderness, mercy and grace. All of these are God’s characteristics for which He offers when we are obedient to His Spirit’s nudges within. I truly want to keep on this track as my journey continues. Reach out if you find yourself nodding your head knowing you are hiding something. God is waiting with love, support and overcoming.