The title of my devotional this morning is Strongholds. Boy, do I ever relate to this topic! I have had an abundance of strongholds in my life. Some of them have been about habits such as fleeing to porn when I felt burdened or feeling less than others. More for me have been the character defects I’ve developed (not on purpose) over the years. These defects are all about my thinking process regarding my value and my capabilities.
Today’s devotional goes on to say that God’s Holy Spirit is given to us to complete Him in us. All of these strongholds are built on lies which Satan and man have caused us to act on or to believe. It has taken me all of my adult years to see the truth in these. Character defects have been something I’ve stayed in denial to. Even though I’d say I’m not good at something like assembling a kit, inside I’d feel like I’m hugely inferior to anyone else that can do this so I’d just keep it at a joking level so I wouldn’t feel the pain.
Today God is wanting me to realize that He placed His Holy Spirit in me to complete Himself in me–who He created me to be. I’m going to our church to ASSEMBLE benches which will be used in our new children’s department wing we’ve added to our church. I woke this morning hours before I needed to be up anxious about putting myself in this position. I wrestled with God about it during this time in the night and He assures me I won’t be made a fool. Instead He wants me to simply be there. He nudged me to say yes to going a week ago so I finally yesterday said I’d go. I do trust God and I know it sounds so silly to be so paranoid about something like this–yet I can’t be in denial to it. I’m praying that I can actually begin to step out of the lie into an understanding that I don’t have to be a genius about something in order to help with it.
OK, so I’ve said it/confessed it. I’m not going to let this bondage own me as it has. This 68 year old man is going to assemble benches today from boxes of parts. I won’t flee–I will stay. If you wrestle with character defects such as I do, I pray God’s Holy Spirit will give you enough confidence to step into the defect with Him. I know that it is in surrender that we overcome. I don’t want to own the defect of character, I want to own the freedom from it so I’m stepping into it!