Today is the first day of Fall. When the first day of Spring arrives I am in a state of rejoicing. Spring means gardens are coming to life and there is an entire 6 months of uninterrupted days for this purpose. When Fall arrives I know it means harvest, putting the garden to rest and enjoying the fruits of the garden, the last of the flowers, etc. But, it also means waiting through winter for spring to come again. OK, enough of that trivia.
The 60 day devotional I was given last July for my birthday is almost finished. I read day 59 this morning. It talked about the walls around our heart which we put up to protect it from hurtful, wounding words people say and more. The writer went on to say we cannot be effective for God when these walls are there. Our heart may get wounded at times from what man says but God wants us to use that as a moment to reflect on what the message may mean. Is the message truly about us? Could it be from a wounded heart speaking its own hurt in a distorted way? Then I went to my bible reading. I finished Isaiah this morning. In chapter 66 and verse 2b it says: …But this the man to whom I will look and have regard: he who is humble and of a broken or wounded spirit, and who trembles at My word and reveres My commands.”
I’ve always regarded this verse’s message as meaning God “feels sorry” for the person with a broken or wounded spirit. However, this morning as I began to journal and talk to God about this He began to bring to Light a much deeper purpose for it. Our own spirit is given/replaced with the Holy Spirit when we receive Christ into our hearts. The new creation Christ’s work on the Cross allowed us to become cannot complete itself unless we allow this “new seed” called The Holy Spirit to grow and take root. When our spirit is wounded or broken through verbal abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse as a child or even as an adult we build walls to protect it and it also most often changes our belief system about who we are. This happens most often if the abuse comes from someone close to us. From my many years of counseling and recovery ministry work I’m learning that in spite of what is true about all of this, God has wanted me to learn to not keep walls up. The words of abuse are the needs of the one speaking rather than of me much of the time. Yes, I may need to learn something from it but if I leave the walls up I judge, I fret, I worry, I do all these things Christ calls sin. God wants me to learn to let my heart be wounded and feel the message so I can sense the needs of man including me. It is in this that God can use me for His purposes in Kingdom Work.
Yes indeed, we need to protect our children from abuse and we need to protect adults from abuse, however, God has a much bigger, deeper plan for the wounds it creates when we keep ourselves focused on Him. His tender loving, caring grace will allow us to use these difficult times for His purposes as we surrender them and allow God to begin to use them with us. I know this all for a fact. I will need to stay in this spirit of learning for a while, but I am very thankful for this morning’s insights. Thank you Father!