Yesterday I spent time with the Jr/Sr high school I’m working with. Little did I know they had such history of dispute, hurt and separation within them. However, as I was searching to find some important information for the work of the day I stumbled into some records defining this time in their recent past. There are only a couple folks still with the district from then and so I asked them to inform me. I got teared up listening to it and knew even more why God has us addressing this work. I told her we were going to unite and this would be a new day for their district. God is in this work this time. Later in the day as I was working with one other a similar experience happened. God just doesn’t want us to start doing something new without cleaning up what was done wrongly in the past. This is true for our personal living as well as for what we do in our daily work lives.
Last night one of our own men gave his testimony for Celebrate Recovery. He is one who had porn and male “touching” happen to him as a boy about 7 years old by an uncle. I knew this about his story already but it was the first time I personally realized the sexual abuse by my brother was the same as introducing me to porn. In my class for abuse I’m presently working through God is awakening so much I didn’t want to see. But, in seeing it now, I can let it go. I’m not needing to stuff it back down and tell it to go away. It is utterly amazing to be able to identify these items as “in my past” without sensing the guilt and shame from them also being within me still. I am so grateful God led me and us to the present classes we are doing.
Today the three brothers living here in the valley are getting together at the one’s home who broke his pelvic bone last August. We are splitting his winter firewood and stacking it in his shop. I use to brace myself for these times even though I’d enjoy some of it. The teasing would turn into torment that I’d hide and endure. However, now I look forward to these times of togetherness. How good God is!